I hate that pie. I used to love it until it got all mangled. Seriously, what on earth is poulty? How did no one catch that? And why did the trademaster not copy and paste my design instead of re-writing the whole thing and filling it with typos and mucking up my wording?

On the other hand, that pie mishap just compels me to be the spiffiest darn trademaster the world ever did see, so I suppose the pie and I have a bittersweet relationship.

Between a roc and a hard place.
The hard rock surrounding this tunnel has been gouged violently with erratic claw marks, presumably caused by the once living roc which now lays motionless towards the southwest, its flesh having rotted away until only bleached white bones remain. The skeleton seems notably larger than the typical roc, making passage through this segment of the area difficult, with little space to squeeze through between it and the hard rock wall on the other side.
You see exits leading north and east.

Arte Skyplume, Caller of Storms says, "Where is my wife. I demand the Phoebus."

You can TYPO designs. I got my throne fixed that way.

You point your staff at a dirty bandit, and electricity crackles across its
length before it discharges a bolt of blue lightning that slams into a dirty
bandit in an explosion of cobalt sparks.
You have scored a CRITICAL hit!
Electricity coursing through his body, a dirty bandit finally collapses in a
twitching heap.
You have slain a dirty bandit.
Many golden sovereigns spill from the corpse.
A pair of thin spectacles tumbles out of the corpse of a dirty bandit.
You suddenly scoop up the corpse of a dirty bandit.

You scoop up a pair of thin spectacles.

wear spectacles
You find it difficult to put on a pair of thin spectacles while wearing a pair
of thin spectacles.

"What?" you ask curiously.

remove spectacles
You aren't wearing a pair of thin spectacles.

wear spectacles
You find it difficult to put on a pair of thin spectacles while wearing a pair
of thin spectacles.

(): You say, "PECTUS I'M CONFUSED."

remove stud
You remove a crescent moon stud.

remove stud
You remove a heart-shaped ruby stud.

remove stud
You remove a heart-shaped ruby stud.

wear spectacles
You slip into a pair of thin spectacles.

"Ahah!" you exclaim triumphantly.

wear stud right ear
You carefully put a crescent moon stud into the piercing through your right ear.

wear stud right ear
You find it difficult to put on a heart-shaped ruby stud through your right ear
while wearing a pair of thin spectacles.

wear stud left ear
You find it difficult to put on a heart-shaped ruby stud through your left ear
while wearing a pair of thin spectacles.

You wrinkle your nose in distaste.

Awwww...

A man bellowing demands at you is romantic? If you'd have included that in your personals ads, Phoebus would have been married a long time ago.

$1|) (Male Elfen).
He is 19 years old, having been born on the 10th of Roarkian, 249 years after the Coming of Estarra.
He is unranked in Lusternia.
He is an extremely credible character.
He is a Peasant in the Grand Duchy of New Celest.
He is currently enrolled as a Student in the Empyreal Academy.
He is a Vagrant in the Fellowship of Explorers.
He is surrounded by the Grace of Innocence.
He is considered to be approximately 0% of your might.
He is not currently active in any family.

(Hey look a clan): Anisu says, "Oh no I thought women hated when the man says another name during it ."

(Hey look a clan): Phoebus (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "As long as he's not saying "Mayor Mc Cheese" or something I think I'd just laugh it off."

(Hey look a clan): Phoebus (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Oh mayor mccheese, your hamburger head is just so sexy."

(Hey look a clan): You say, "I could just eat you all night long."

(Hey look a clan): Anisu says, "Wouldn't you be a chickenburger."

(): You say, "Http://imgur.com/1PVPE.jpg you know you want him, and he knows you want him."

(): Anisu (from the Aetherways) says, "Man my wanting to eat a cheeseburger isn ow destroyed."

(): You say, "One of his eyes is like way bigger than the other one."

(): You say, "It's freaking me out a little. But look at him, with his arms spread wide. He's waiting for you to run to him."

(): You say, "To be wrapped up in his cheesy embrace."

(): You say, "I bet kissing him is like making out with a meat packing plant."

Oh crap, we're in trouble now.

Oh crap, we're in trouble now.

Please welcome Khristal who has just enrolled into the University of Cosmic Understanding to learn the ways of the Institute!

Please welcome Phlesh who has just enrolled into the Order of the Secret Flame to learn the ways of the Illuminati!