Lorina2010-07-09 03:21:02
TELEPATHY
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you and commences the lesson in Telepathy.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer brings his fingertips to his forehead, and slowly closes his eyes. Suddenly, you feel a presence within your mind, as though your thoughts no longer belong to you alone.
Realizing the presence beside your thoughts is none other than Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer, you concentrate intently as his hollow voice fills your skull, instructing you on the use of the Mindlink to communicate with your fellow Telepaths, regardless of planar distance.
As Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer's voice continues to fill your skull, instructing you in the means of inflicting mental afflictions upon your enemies, you feel yourself grow somehow more timid, and you notice a smile playing across his lips.
The now booming and impressive voice of Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer fills your mind, warning you of the dangers an accomplished Telepath can cause merely by siphoning away the ego of their opponent, as he just did to you.
As you feel Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer's thoughts slipping away from your own, your mouth and tongue begin moving of their own accord, and you speak the words, "Thank you, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer..." He winks at you, his eyes finally opening, and he chuckles softly before turning away.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you - the lesson in Telepathy is over.
TELEKINESIS
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you and commences the lesson in Telekinesis.
With a sober nod in your direction, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bids you prepare for the forthcoming lesson, reminding you of the difficulties and dangers of this most aggressive of disciplines.
Without warning, an invisible hook yanks your legs from under you, sending you sprawling. Chuckling at his little joke, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer explains that a telekinetic can mentally manipulate his surroundings on a great or tiny scale, bursting blood vessels or flinging a foe high into the air.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer produces a dagger and throws it into the air. It slowly circles his head as he explains how to break a leg through thought, choke enemies from afar, or weigh down an opponent's weapon as you stab him with your own.
Glancing furtively about, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer tells you that the greatest telekinetics can create forcefields to shield themselves from damage, and raise great psychic barriers to seal off exits. Bending closer, he whispers to you of the the greatest skill of all, bursting your opponent's heart to slay him instantly.
Straightening, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer cautions you to beware of disruption scrolls and reminds you that continual practice is the key to success.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you - the lesson in Telekinesis is over.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you and commences the lesson in Telepathy.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer brings his fingertips to his forehead, and slowly closes his eyes. Suddenly, you feel a presence within your mind, as though your thoughts no longer belong to you alone.
Realizing the presence beside your thoughts is none other than Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer, you concentrate intently as his hollow voice fills your skull, instructing you on the use of the Mindlink to communicate with your fellow Telepaths, regardless of planar distance.
As Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer's voice continues to fill your skull, instructing you in the means of inflicting mental afflictions upon your enemies, you feel yourself grow somehow more timid, and you notice a smile playing across his lips.
The now booming and impressive voice of Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer fills your mind, warning you of the dangers an accomplished Telepath can cause merely by siphoning away the ego of their opponent, as he just did to you.
As you feel Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer's thoughts slipping away from your own, your mouth and tongue begin moving of their own accord, and you speak the words, "Thank you, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer..." He winks at you, his eyes finally opening, and he chuckles softly before turning away.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you - the lesson in Telepathy is over.
TELEKINESIS
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you and commences the lesson in Telekinesis.
With a sober nod in your direction, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bids you prepare for the forthcoming lesson, reminding you of the difficulties and dangers of this most aggressive of disciplines.
Without warning, an invisible hook yanks your legs from under you, sending you sprawling. Chuckling at his little joke, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer explains that a telekinetic can mentally manipulate his surroundings on a great or tiny scale, bursting blood vessels or flinging a foe high into the air.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer produces a dagger and throws it into the air. It slowly circles his head as he explains how to break a leg through thought, choke enemies from afar, or weigh down an opponent's weapon as you stab him with your own.
Glancing furtively about, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer tells you that the greatest telekinetics can create forcefields to shield themselves from damage, and raise great psychic barriers to seal off exits. Bending closer, he whispers to you of the the greatest skill of all, bursting your opponent's heart to slay him instantly.
Straightening, Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer cautions you to beware of disruption scrolls and reminds you that continual practice is the key to success.
Manchal, the Scholarly Aquamancer bows to you - the lesson in Telekinesis is over.
Janalon2010-07-09 11:45:49
STEALTH: just to be completion-ist.
Madam Yoraghu bows to you and commences the lesson in Stealth.
Silently, Madam Yoraghu slips into shadows you barely noticed were there,
entirely concealed from sight. She beckons you closer, and explains that the
master of Stealth must always remain unseen until the time is right to strike
without warning. "You must stalk your prey with the utmost care," she counsels.
Tapping her ear, Madam Yoraghu shows you how to eavesdrop on conversations in
nearby locations, and intimates that this skill can be honed to such a degree
that you can even learn to stalk the aetherwaves of Lusternia, covertly
gathering secrets.
Carving a block of wood, Madam Yoraghu instructs you in fashioning a crude
blowgun, and the poisoning of darts which can penetrate even the thickest hide.
"As you become more adept," she enthuses, "you will learn to aim further, and
even obscure the origin of your darts from your mark."
Grinning cruelly, Madam Yoraghu gruesomely details crafting a mask from the
corpse of a victim, and masquerading as the fallen to confuse your enemies and
pass unnoticed. She whispers that, with training, the deepest cover can fool
even the most vigilant guards and magical wards.
Madam Yoraghu reveals the traps that can be employed when the time is right to
strike, including trussing with firm ropes, noosing them from the rooftops above,
and waylaying with vicious attacks. Then, Madam Yoraghu gravely reminds, is the
time to slip away under the greatest of veils, which no eye nor magic can pierce,
and only the greatest of practitioners might employ.
Madam Yoraghu bows to you - the lesson in Stealth is over.
Madam Yoraghu bows to you and commences the lesson in Stealth.
Silently, Madam Yoraghu slips into shadows you barely noticed were there,
entirely concealed from sight. She beckons you closer, and explains that the
master of Stealth must always remain unseen until the time is right to strike
without warning. "You must stalk your prey with the utmost care," she counsels.
Tapping her ear, Madam Yoraghu shows you how to eavesdrop on conversations in
nearby locations, and intimates that this skill can be honed to such a degree
that you can even learn to stalk the aetherwaves of Lusternia, covertly
gathering secrets.
Carving a block of wood, Madam Yoraghu instructs you in fashioning a crude
blowgun, and the poisoning of darts which can penetrate even the thickest hide.
"As you become more adept," she enthuses, "you will learn to aim further, and
even obscure the origin of your darts from your mark."
Grinning cruelly, Madam Yoraghu gruesomely details crafting a mask from the
corpse of a victim, and masquerading as the fallen to confuse your enemies and
pass unnoticed. She whispers that, with training, the deepest cover can fool
even the most vigilant guards and magical wards.
Madam Yoraghu reveals the traps that can be employed when the time is right to
strike, including trussing with firm ropes, noosing them from the rooftops above,
and waylaying with vicious attacks. Then, Madam Yoraghu gravely reminds, is the
time to slip away under the greatest of veils, which no eye nor magic can pierce,
and only the greatest of practitioners might employ.
Madam Yoraghu bows to you - the lesson in Stealth is over.
Janalon2010-07-09 16:21:57
QUOTE (Eldanien @ Jul 8 2010, 08:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This was also explicitly stated as false, and needs changed.
Aye, this was part of the research which I based my book on the Origins of Nekotai upon.
Janalon2010-07-09 16:34:28
Writing lesson lines proved somewhat more challenging that I expected.
First, this "genre" doesn't benefit from overly detailed and descriptive text. It's better to keep things in more general terms so the lessons are flexible; in other words conform to whoever might be the teacher at the moment. The first time around, I was writing in the voice of Madam Yoraghu which I later learned doesn't work for the aforementioned reason.
Secondly, many of the lessons have a "retelling" feel, straying away from particular lines of dialogue where necessary. Funny enough, this style runs against what I know makes for good writing... though completely works in this context.
Anyway... I revised my first draft, and added two more lesson lines worth of content. I will have to write 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person perspectives once completed.
First, this "genre" doesn't benefit from overly detailed and descriptive text. It's better to keep things in more general terms so the lessons are flexible; in other words conform to whoever might be the teacher at the moment. The first time around, I was writing in the voice of Madam Yoraghu which I later learned doesn't work for the aforementioned reason.
Secondly, many of the lessons have a "retelling" feel, straying away from particular lines of dialogue where necessary. Funny enough, this style runs against what I know makes for good writing... though completely works in this context.
Anyway... I revised my first draft, and added two more lesson lines worth of content. I will have to write 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person perspectives once completed.
CODE
Madam Yoraghu bows to you and commences the lesson in Nekotai.
Madam Yoraghu instructs that Nekotai is a fae word meaning 'Bringer of Sorrows'. She continues to explain the origins of the scorpion style of combat are safeguarded within inner circles of the Cult.
Madam Yoraghu slides opposing nekai against one another, causing an earsplitting screech to warble through the clawed blades. She explains these weapons can be envenomed with fatal poisons and induce heavy bleeding.
Graceful as a scorpion, Madam Yoraghu leaps toward you from across the room with a vicious cry. She then demonstrates how to strike from afar and retreat to the treetops for a quick getaway.
Producing a vial from her robes, Madam Yoraghu quickly pours the liquid contents down her throat. She demonstrates how the glands can be trained to absorb poisons into the bloodstream, and later spit back in the face of an opponent.
Finally, Madam Yoraghu dips. . .
To be continued.Madam Yoraghu instructs that Nekotai is a fae word meaning 'Bringer of Sorrows'. She continues to explain the origins of the scorpion style of combat are safeguarded within inner circles of the Cult.
Madam Yoraghu slides opposing nekai against one another, causing an earsplitting screech to warble through the clawed blades. She explains these weapons can be envenomed with fatal poisons and induce heavy bleeding.
Graceful as a scorpion, Madam Yoraghu leaps toward you from across the room with a vicious cry. She then demonstrates how to strike from afar and retreat to the treetops for a quick getaway.
Producing a vial from her robes, Madam Yoraghu quickly pours the liquid contents down her throat. She demonstrates how the glands can be trained to absorb poisons into the bloodstream, and later spit back in the face of an opponent.
Finally, Madam Yoraghu dips. . .
Janalon2010-07-13 05:50:47
Just inquired about guild emotes. Since the Nekotai makes great use of KA KAIFE AIR:
and also KA SCORPIONTAIL:
Thought I would grab something less action oriented. I grabbed the following line from our illithoid guard's greeting message when Nekotai enter the room.
Also targeted:
Also submitted for Nekotai learning lines.
Keeping my fingers crossed that both are approved. Once I get word about the Nektoai learning lines, I'll begin work on the psychometabolism learning lines.
CODE
You slide your opposing nekai against each other, causing an earsplitting
screech to warble through the blades.
screech to warble through the blades.
and also KA SCORPIONTAIL:
CODE
A glowing scorpion's tail arcs overhead as you shift the weight in your legs.
Thought I would grab something less action oriented. I grabbed the following line from our illithoid guard's greeting message when Nekotai enter the room.
QUOTE
SCORPPRIDE
Janalon says, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (3rd person)
I say, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (1st person)
Janalon says, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (3rd person)
I say, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (1st person)
Also targeted:
QUOTE
SCORPPRIDE
Janalon says to Coyoto, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (3rd person)
Janalon says to you, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (2rd person)
You say to Coyoto, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (1st person)
Janalon says to Coyoto, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (3rd person)
Janalon says to you, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (2rd person)
You say to Coyoto, "Go with pride, warrior of the scorpion." (1st person)
Also submitted for Nekotai learning lines.
QUOTE
Madam Yoraghu bows to you and commences the lesson in Nekotai.
Madam Yoraghu instructs that Nekotai is a fae word meaning 'Bringer of Sorrows'. She continues to explain the origins of the scorpion style of combat are safeguarded within inner circles of the Cult.
Madam Yoraghu slides opposing nekai against one another, causing an earsplitting screech to warble through the clawed blades. She explains these weapons can be envenomed with fatal poisons and induce heavy bleeding.
Graceful as a scorpion, Madam Yoraghu leaps toward you from across the room with a vicious cry. She then demonstrates how to strike from afar and retreat to the treetops for a quick getaway.
Producing a vial from her robes, Madam Yoraghu quickly pours the liquid contents down her throat. She indicates how the glands can be trained to absorb poisons into the bloodstream, and later spit back in the face of an opponent.
Finally, Madam Yoraghu dips an iron dart into a vial of poison and hides it beneath the foot. She exhibits how to swiftly kick to force the dart deep beneath the flesh and deliver a fatal dose of poison.
Madam Yoraghu instructs that Nekotai is a fae word meaning 'Bringer of Sorrows'. She continues to explain the origins of the scorpion style of combat are safeguarded within inner circles of the Cult.
Madam Yoraghu slides opposing nekai against one another, causing an earsplitting screech to warble through the clawed blades. She explains these weapons can be envenomed with fatal poisons and induce heavy bleeding.
Graceful as a scorpion, Madam Yoraghu leaps toward you from across the room with a vicious cry. She then demonstrates how to strike from afar and retreat to the treetops for a quick getaway.
Producing a vial from her robes, Madam Yoraghu quickly pours the liquid contents down her throat. She indicates how the glands can be trained to absorb poisons into the bloodstream, and later spit back in the face of an opponent.
Finally, Madam Yoraghu dips an iron dart into a vial of poison and hides it beneath the foot. She exhibits how to swiftly kick to force the dart deep beneath the flesh and deliver a fatal dose of poison.
Keeping my fingers crossed that both are approved. Once I get word about the Nektoai learning lines, I'll begin work on the psychometabolism learning lines.
Janalon2010-07-13 05:50:51
Eep. Accidental double-post.
EDIT: Maybe ScorPride (without the double-P) or SPride would be less spammy to type.
EDIT: Maybe ScorPride (without the double-P) or SPride would be less spammy to type.
Janalon2011-02-13 21:45:01
Here are some lines I wrote a while back for Nekotai.
Confirmed: divine patron is asking for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person lines. Is this a simple noun/pronoun substitution, or do I need to completely rewrite for all three versions? Does anyone have an example to view so I have an 'anchor piece' for providing the other POV's?
QUOTE
Madam Yoraghu bows to you and commences the lesson in Nekotai.
Madam Yoraghu instructs that Nekotai is a fae word meaning 'Bringer of
Sorrows'. She continues to explain the origins of the scorpion style of
combat are safeguarded within inner circles of the Cult.
Madam Yoraghu slides opposing nekai against one another, causing an
earsplitting screech to warble through the clawed blades. She explains
these weapons can be envenomed with fatal poisons and induce heavy
bleeding.
Graceful as a scorpion, Madam Yoraghu leaps toward you from across the
room with a vicious cry. She then demonstrates how to strike from afar
and retreat to the treetops for a quick getaway.
Producing a vial from her robes, Madam Yoraghu quickly pours the liquid
contents down her throat. She indicates how the glands can be trained to
absorb poisons into the bloodstream, and later spit back in the face of
an opponent.
Finally, Madam Yoraghu dips an iron dart into a vial of poison and hides
it beneath the foot. She exhibits how to swiftly kick to force the dart
deep beneath the flesh and deliver a fatal dose of poison.
Madam Yoraghu commences the lesson.
Madam Yoraghu instructs that Nekotai is a fae word meaning 'Bringer of
Sorrows'. She continues to explain the origins of the scorpion style of
combat are safeguarded within inner circles of the Cult.
Madam Yoraghu slides opposing nekai against one another, causing an
earsplitting screech to warble through the clawed blades. She explains
these weapons can be envenomed with fatal poisons and induce heavy
bleeding.
Graceful as a scorpion, Madam Yoraghu leaps toward you from across the
room with a vicious cry. She then demonstrates how to strike from afar
and retreat to the treetops for a quick getaway.
Producing a vial from her robes, Madam Yoraghu quickly pours the liquid
contents down her throat. She indicates how the glands can be trained to
absorb poisons into the bloodstream, and later spit back in the face of
an opponent.
Finally, Madam Yoraghu dips an iron dart into a vial of poison and hides
it beneath the foot. She exhibits how to swiftly kick to force the dart
deep beneath the flesh and deliver a fatal dose of poison.
Madam Yoraghu commences the lesson.
Confirmed: divine patron is asking for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person lines. Is this a simple noun/pronoun substitution, or do I need to completely rewrite for all three versions? Does anyone have an example to view so I have an 'anchor piece' for providing the other POV's?
Lendren2011-02-13 22:25:12
It can be as simple as changing the pronouns, but it doesn't have to be. You might make the emphasis different or add some subtext. (Check out Aeonics sometime: the lesson texts are in a different order for the teacher and student, since the teacher anticipates a question and notifies himself through time to answer it before it comes up. That's probably the most extreme example of them being different.)
Neos2011-02-13 22:35:28
QUOTE (Janalon @ Feb 13 2011, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Here are some lines I wrote a while back for Nekotai.
Confirmed: divine patron is asking for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person lines. Is this a simple noun/pronoun substitution, or do I need to completely rewrite for all three versions? Does anyone have an example to view so I have an 'anchor piece' for providing the other POV's?
Confirmed: divine patron is asking for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person lines. Is this a simple noun/pronoun substitution, or do I need to completely rewrite for all three versions? Does anyone have an example to view so I have an 'anchor piece' for providing the other POV's?
It depends, I know the Aquamancy lines, from both 1st and 2nd are basically the same, while the Telepathy lines, are way different. (Teaching lines > Learning lines)
I'd show if I had them saved, but I don't and trans in both.
Ileein2011-02-13 23:44:02
QUOTE (Lendren @ Feb 13 2011, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It can be as simple as changing the pronouns, but it doesn't have to be. You might make the emphasis different or add some subtext. (Check out Aeonics sometime: the lesson texts are in a different order for the teacher and student, since the teacher anticipates a question and notifies himself through time to answer it before it comes up. That's probably the most extreme example of them being different.)
Oh, man, do you have a log of that? I don't think I've ever compared the two closely.
Lendren2011-02-14 00:18:21
Not off hand. If you can't find them from someone else, I think I can get my original submissions, they're on a backup I'd have to recover though.
