I wish people would remember to make a wish.

Granted, I remember to wish something horribly happened to you that it didn't get corrupted and it worked!

Now I wish for a wish that isn't a wish but still counts as a wish that wishes for more wishes that repeats itself in a cycle that goes on and on that I have so many wishes I don't know what to do about them!

Granted. You're now stuck in a time-loop, making the same wish over and over and over again.

I wish I had more time.

Granted, time stops for you, and only you. Unfortunately this does not include, among other things, cars, guns, computers, your clothes, the locking mechanism on your doors and windows, or your mattress springs.

I wish more people got my references.

Granted, but nobody whatsoever thinks they are funny and everyone generally considers you a terrible bore. You are summarily exiled from society.

I wish for a private island.

Granted, but it is 2 square inches over Ry'leh.

I wish I were Cthulu.

Granted, but all you do is eternal lie for strange aeons.

I wish for peace and quiet in the apartment.

@Casilu: Granted, but a narwhal stops you from eating us.

Edit: Ninja-ed!

@Aerotan: Granted, you become blind and deaf.

I wish I had a pet narwhal.

Granted, however it's invisible and lives in the sea, so you never see it.

I wish the fourth series of castle was out noooow.

Granted, but it's terrible and ruins the series so utterly that you can't even watch the first three.

I wish people would pay attention to my wishes when I make them.

Granted, but only this once, because you've been good.

I wish people would catch my hints more often.

Granted, but now everyone you give said "hints" to think you're rude, a creep, mostly insane, or a mixture of any or all of the above.

I wish our snowstorms would hit the town hard enough to shut down the roads and everything else so that everyone is trapped at home (but with electricity and internet. And working heaters.)

Granted, but the snow storms are literally hitting your town. Prepare for black eyes.

?

You guys all suck, so I'm going to necro.

I wish that people could post in a thread without it devolving into LOLcats and Picture is Unrelated.

Edit: For clarification, I was referring to this thread. >.< I was rather enjoying it, and having casual silly interactions with all of you awesome people.

Granted. But now you will miss out on hundreds of amusing lolcats/memes.

I wish for Easter to be here sooner so I can buy discount chocolate!

Loldogs are in now.

I wish that I was omnitrans.

Granted, but you have Regrets.

I wish I was super fabulous at everything.

Edit: Oops, ninja'd.



Granted, but Estarra decided artifacts unbalance the game and the credit market has been deleted, so you have nothing to do with your credits, now.

I still wish I was super fabulous at everything.

Omnitrans would be lessons, not credits.

Granted, but your skin is now rainbow coloured.

I wish that I hadn't gotten my finger crushed in a sparring match today ><

Granted. But now you will not learn from your mistake!

I wish my dinner would get here faster