Granted, but now all the stores sell Waffle Crisp cereal exclusively.

I wish the Ama'nar'isil had one more member, so that I could marry out.

Congratulations. Your new family member is an Azumarill.

I wish Renny would stop ignoring me.


But... but... Icelandic is Norwegian!

But Norwegian is Danish.

Granted! But now he's too clingy.

I wish I knew how to made homemade chocolate icecream with white chocolate chips.

granted, but now you're allergic to chocolate.

I wish I were tankier .

Granted, but now you're a TK Pryomancer.

I wish for world peace enforced by facist dictatorship.

Granted, but that fascist dictatorship is actually headed by an entity known as the Architect, or the Father of the Matrix, and this is only the first incarnation of the Matrix. You are doubtlessly one of the many casualties as you reject the virtual utopia forced on us.

I wish I wasn't out of corona.

Granted, but you have to drink alone.

I wish the weather will stop being so windy and cold and instead will become warm and sunny like it was 2 days ago.

Granted, but you find yourself stuck on a desert planet with no moisture.


I wish that you will not grant this wish.

Granted, but I granted it.

I wish I had a wish to wish.

Granted, but your wish was dull, so no one cares.

I wish my C key didn't suck.

Granted, it bites instead.

I wish for a million wishes!

Granted, but you can only wish for nothing.

I wish I had chocolate!

Granted, but it's american chocolate, so it's full of rat feces, rat hair, and roach parts.

(I'm so glad I'm allergic to american chocolate. )

I wish for world peace!

Granted, the world is now devoid of all life.

I wish I was a Trill in real life.

Granted, but you develop a terrible allergic reaction to feathers that causes you to break out in giant itchy hives all over.

I wish I hadn't gotten sunburned yesterday!

Granted, you instead get sunburned today.

I wish I could teleport without error.

Granted, but where you're teleporting is now at the bottom of an active volcano. Oops!

I wish I had the One Ring to Rule Them All.

Granted, it works exactly as intended and you are not Sauron.

I wish for the quickest path from A to B.

Granted, but that path is straight through a tank of sharks and several brick walls.

I wish Estarra woud come give me the biggest hug ever.

Granted, but she broke all your bones and now you are paralyzed for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a billionaire.