A Nickle is found in your living room by the police; exhuming the dead without proper protocol being followed is rather illegal, so you find yourself with a bit of unexpected time in jail.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Folger_Nickle

I wish my bed was already made.

Your bed is indeed made, though your daughter and her lesbian lover are still sleeping in it. ._.

I wish I had cheesecake right now.

Not a reply. As I've said before, Eventru is one of the biggest trolls around, but he does it in a way that you just can't be angry and have to laugh.

Granted, but the cheesecake was imbued with esteem and offered to you, so you do not get to enjoy the sweet, creamy libations!

I wish I was better at trolling Omeglers.

Granted, but you're still terrible at it!

I wish I knew what "Omeglers" were.

(Am not a troll. )

You learn what Omeglers are, but you end up becoming an even bigger troll and out troll everyone in the internet!
(*pat* *pat*)

I wish I had started this science project earlier!

Granted, but it's full of troll science.

(been on omegle >.>)

I wish that the zombies would all die.

Granted, they all die, but they choose to do that right in front of your doorway, blocking your entire way out.

I wish the next episode of Glee would come out right NOW.

Granted, but the production schedule was rushed, so the episode was shoddy, and ended up losing the company a large amount of money, thus forcing them to cancel the show.

I wish I didn't have so many fears.

Granted, but now everyone fears you.

I wish I could sleep.

Granted, you get a Sleeping Beauty curse - and your prince is definitely homosexual, and germophobic.

Well time to start a new wish.

I wish I was invincible!

Granted, you end up buried underneath a ton of stone and can never die, starving and hurting for ETERNITY.

I wish my top hat was more top-y.

Granted, but you have no bottom-y now.

I wish I'd remember to write a damn wish!

Granted, but your wish is corrupted afterwards.

I wish this wish were corrupted.

Granted, it became more corrupted then ever, making you suffer more.

Now I wish I was as cool as Eventru.

Granted, but now you're no longer as hot as Eventru.

I wish I didn't have to sleep in real life either.

Granted, but now you're just as creepy as Edward from Twilight. Your mate has to sleep, so all you can do is watch him/her.

I wish for money.

Granted. You get buried in ten metric tons of dimes.

I wish I wasn't so bored.

Granted, music from your neighbor blares out, at the moment you're ok with it, the next thing you knew, you lack sleep, you can't hear anything and it drives you insane.

Now I wish I'm God!