Granted, the passwords you now remember is now known to everyone, accessing every bit of information about you.

Now I wish I'm a great Kick Boxer.

Granted, but you lose both legs in a horrible training accident.

I wish my writer's block would go away.

Granted, you write a best seller and now have BILLIONS of screaming fans! Unfortunately, it was a children's book, so no one will take you seriously anymore and all of those fans are toddlers.

I wish I was in New England, in bed with my mate, both of us happy and safe.

Granted. Hope you enjoy repopulating the earth, because you just survived the Apocalypse.

I wish I understood Renaissance literature without the use of SparkNotes. (I'm looking at you, The Faerie Queen.)

Granted, but now you use renaissance english, so no one can understand you.

I wish that I could see properly without needing corrective eyewear.

Granted, you no longer need corrective eyeware. You now need corrective surgery.

I wish I had a TARDIS

Granted. You have the deed to one TARDIS, however you possess no means of reaching it.

I wish I had central heterochromia.

Granted, but now you see the world in shades of blue and brown.

I wish the sky was purple.

Granted, but it's because the amount of upper-spectrum radiation hitting the earth has -significantly- increased, and skin cancer rates skyrocket.

I wish that John Marston didn't die.

Why would you ever wish for that?

GODDAMNIT CASILU, STOP RUINING IT.

*ahem*

I wish Casilu would digivolve into Cthulhu finally. Or Kethuru. Take your pick.

Granted, but the OSSOM POWAH this takes causes the internet to short-circuit, thereby killing all digimon.

I wish I had the capitol to play the stock market.

Granted, but you lose it all playing the stock market. Then you hang yourself with the elastic on your underwear.

I wish I know what color(s) my eyes are.

Granted, but the horrible truth burns itself into your mind and erases all remaining shreds of sanity, leaving you forever curled up, mumbling "not cute" until you finally starve yourself to death to embrace blissful oblivion.

I wish Disney Channel would start sending reruns and genuinely good revivals of great cartoon classics like Darkwing Duck, instead of the terrible, horrible, painful and stupidity-inducing mess they're producing nowadays. (With a few exceptions. Phineas and Ferb)

(Whatcha doing? Aaaaagent Peeeeeee! I want some of the old cartoons too, but I can't think of any at the moment.)

I'm sorry. I cannot grant that wish, as twisting it would be a cardinal sin. (Rescue Rangers Away!!)

I wish I could get dangerous. (Please, let it be someone who gets the reference)

Granted. Now everyone thinks you're a quack of a superhero. (<_<;; Methinks I got the wrong reference.)

I wish I only needed four hours of sleep to function well.

(Yay. Suck gas villian!)

Granted. You use coffee to sustain yourself on only four hours of sleep. Unfortunately, such large amounts of coffee means that you spend hours at the toilet.

I wish comics and animation was recognized as a medium of artistic expression, and not just as cheap entertainment.

Granted, you now work for Todd McFarlane. That's its own punishment.

I wish I were a pony. Cutie mark and all.

Granted, but this means you must constantly endure the screaming of small children in joy for the rest of your life as you suffer, trapped in a body with no ability to communicate or do anything really but walk, run, and eat.