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Novice Advances
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a vignette by Lendren Starfall

Being an account of the aftermath of the first Ascension.

Okay, not really.

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Aryidion: enters, looking around with wide eyes, His steps faltering.

Ayridion: "Hello? Anyone here? I, umm, I just ascended, and I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to be doing."

Mother Night: enters in a sinuous slink, flashing her hips.

Mother Night: "Well, hello, big boy! You're, ummm, you're supposed to spend
the first few years under my wing. Metaphorically speaking."

Mother Moon: enters in a huff, hands on her hips.

Mother Moon: "Don't listen to her!"

Mother Night: flounces into a sulk.

Mother Night: "Spoilsport! Don't listen to her, she's just a big pile of no
fun. Just ask Father Sun what happened last time they went out on a date."

Mother Moon: "Oi, bringing that up again! Why don't you tell him the *real*
reason why Father Sun chases you all the time?"

Mother Night: turns her back pointedly on Mother Moon, and begins to hum
loudly.

Mother Moon: (to Ayridion) "Tell her that she's not fooling anyone."

Mother Night: (to Ayridion) "Tell her no one is listening to her."

Ayridion: "Ummm..."

Sister Snake: enters with a slithering rattle.

Sister Snake: (to Ayridion, in a quiet, sibilant hiss) "Don't mind them,
they're always like this. No one even remembers what they're arguing about
anymore."

Mother Moon: "She remembers full well what she did!"

Mother Night: "You're just jealous. If you were limber enough to--"

Mother Moon: "You're not even speaking to me!"

Mother Night: smirks triumphantly.

Father Sun: enters in a drunken stagger.

Father Sun: (to Ayridion) "Who are you?"

Ayridion: "I'm, umm, I just ascended and I'm just trying to figure out--"

Father Sun: "Nevermind that, have you seen Mother Night?"

Ayridion: "Err, she's right over there."

Father Sun: (nudging Ayridion suggestively) "You wouldn't believe the tricks
she knows! If you get a chance to get her alone..."

Father Sun: lurches towards Mother Night, leering.

Mother Moon: throws her hands up in a huff.

Mother Night: watches Mother Moon with a satisfied grin, then, on seeing Father
Sun approaching, mutters to herself and hurries off.

Mother Night: exits at a hurry, mumbling in disgruntlement.

Father Sun: "Wait, I just want you to do that thing you do with your toes.
Just one more time!"

Father Sun: hurries after Mother Night, his tongue hanging out.

Mother Moon: "Thank the gods *she's* gone. Now we can talk. Which is your
favorite season?"

Ayridion: (taken aback) "Ummm, winter, I guess. No, wait, not winter, maybe--"

Mother Moon: (beaming brightly) "Winter! You should definitely join with me,
winter is my favorite season too! You should come visit my corner of the
Ethereal Plane."

Sister Snake: slithers off, rolling her eyes at Mother Moon.

Mother Moon: approaches Ayridion, linking her arm with his in a predatory
fashion.

Ayridion: "Ummm, but I think it's not winter after all..."

Mother Moon: "I have this lovely waterfall..."

Brother Bear: enters in a bluff, hearty stride.

Brother Bear: (to Ayridion, ignoring Mother Moon's possessive grip on his arm)
"Heyo! Welcome aboard, has anyone shown You around?"

Ayridion: (looking stricken, as if hoping for rescue) "No, actually, I've
been--"

Mother Moon: (shooting a glare at Brother Bear) "I've got this one, thanks."

Brother Bear: "Is she bothering you? You seem a little... sunny. She probably
just wants to prove--"

Mother Moon: (yelling) "We're not *talking* about that!"

Brother Bear: (to Ayridion) "Well, You seem like a strong lad. Maybe we should
talk a bit about how You could help out. I have a few projects that might be
right up your alley."

Mother Moon: sighs gustily.

Brother Wolf: lopes in and runs right up to Ayridion, sniffing him.

Ayridion: stops short, looking warily at Brother Wolf, but not backing off.

Brother Wolf: "Courage! I like that! You should join my pack. I have a place
in mind for You."

Brother Bear: "Hey, back off, I'm talking to Him."

Ayridion: looks back and forth between the Spirits nervously.

Sister River: tumbles acrobatically in, burbling a song to herself.

Sister River: "You two leave Him alone! Clearly, He's of a more fluid
disposition, ready to adapt to whatever He encounters."

Mother Moon: (shrieking petulantly) "I had Him first!"

Brother Skunk: comes in slowly, sniffing the ground.

Brother Wolf: "Pah! A new pup like Him needs the guidance of a pack."

Sister River: "What He needs isn't rigidity, it's... what's that smell?"

Mother Moon: sulks petulantly, pretending to ignore everyone.

Brother Wolf: lifts his muzzle, sniffing and turning his head.

Brother Bear: (spotting Brother Skunk) "You! Get out!"

Brother Skunk: "Awww, but I only wanted to--"

Brother Bear: (charging at Brother Skunk, scaring him off) "Off with you!"

Mother Moon: uses the distraction to sidle up to Ayridion again, flashing Him a
charming smile.

Ayridion: looks stricken, glancing in increasing panic back and forth at the
various Spirits.

Sister River: cartwheels over towards Ayridion, singing a wordless melody at
Him.

Brother Wolf: nuzzles up behind Ayridion, sniffing at Him.

Mother Moon: "The forests are especially lovely at this time of year."

Ayridion: backs away from the group crowding around Him.

Mother Night: hurries in, being pursued.

Mother Night: "Leave me alone, you pervert!"

Father Sun: trundles drunkenly, lurching after Mother Night.

Father Sun: "Awww, c'mon, I washed this time!"

Mother Night: flashes a glare at Mother Moon, and a charming smile at Ayridion,
flitting right up next to Him.

Father Sun: (glancing at Ayridion) "Hey, we should go out for drinks later, I
know a great place."

Brother Bear: "Yes, drinks! We should go out for drinks!"

Sister River: "Don't let them pressure You. Come with me!"

Ayridion: backs away in increasing panic at the rising clamor of voices.

Estarra: strides in, then stops and puts Her hands on Her hips imperiously.

Estarra: "Bloody shite! What's going on here?"

The clamor of voices stops immediately, as all the Great Spirits meekly back
off, looking contrite.

Estarra: (to Ayridion) "Are they all bothering You?"

Ayridion: (uncertainly, in awe) "Well, umm, they were kind of, umm..."

Estarra: "The lot of you, off! Leave Him alone."

The Great Spirits slink off apologetically.

Estarra: (putting an arm around Ayridion's shoulder and leading Him off) "Now,
then, let's talk about a wonderful opportunity I have for You..."