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::::::::::::::| Reflections of an Old Soul |::::::::::::
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O------ PROLOGUE -------O

After a hundred and fifty years of study, thought, teaching, and endless
servitude I have taken the time to sit and compose what you are about to read.
Consider it a collection of reflections, written as I have thought, without any
particular audience in mind, simply a collection of highlights during my life.
My hope is to preserve my memories to this point and my sincerest wish is that
you take some shred of knowledge from the amount I have required.

Eternal Damnation of Nil upon you all.

O------ BIRTH ------O

The sun was high in the sky, beating down on the streets of Magnagora. A woman
lie upon silken sheets, wet with sweat and heard throughout the mansion in which
she dwelled. Her adoring husband sat beside her, his hand in hers. The midwife
coached, “Push” she says, “Push”. Hours pass till the point of
exhaustion and with one last effort, a child is born.

Thick hair of black stands straight from her tiny head, solid eyes of black try
to hide from the harsh light, she screams from the trauma. Ripped from warmth
and comfort to cold... bright lights, loud noises... she struggles against the
arms of the midwife. And then her cord is cut, she is placed within a thick,
soft blanket and is welcomed into the arms of one she will call mother.

“Beautiful,” they utter together, fawning over their newborn. Emerald green
eyes beam down upon the girl and lips part to softly say, “Nepthysia... that
is what you shall be named.”

This is how my life began.

O------ PUPIL ------O

Prophets of Luciphage and Nifilhema were my father and mother, Iconoclasts in
the still newly found Nihilists, once Fatalists, once children of the Supernals.
Most of my teachings during the earliest years were guided by my mother and
thusly are those that run deepest through my veins. As a Daughter of the
Amaranth, she began my lessons in the art of tolerance very early on, ensuring
to mix this with my father’s lessons in patience.

Throughout these short years I would learn the ways of pain, torture,
mutilation, patience, manipulation, and how to be a teacher and a leader. When
my mother and father were both dead, and I lost away in the mountains with two
baby siblings, my education continued with books. I spent my days reading and
reinforcing the information by later teaching it to my younger sister and
brother. They were my first students, an absorbent pair in their early wishes
for entertainment, and it was then that I realized this would be a significant
role in my life.

O------ THE PORTAL ------O

As I came of age I felt the need to pass through the portal, if for nothing
more than ceremony. There were things I wished to leave behind and by passing
through the portal I became reborn. As I stepped through I saw the path before
me, the roads that branched from it, and in an instant I chose what I would
become. It was not long after that I set out to accomplish those goals.

O------ PROPHET ------O

My entry into the Nihilists was relatively swift, my rise in rank even more so.
Within a year I was an Iconoclast, dubbed Prophet of Nifilhema, Queen of
Insufferable Cruelty, my first and still one of my most cherished of titles. It
felt honourable to continue my mother’s work, yet make it my own.

I swooped down upon the young of our Fold, pulling them in to educate them as I
had been. Remembering my time in the mountains I sought to become a guide for
them not only in the ways of The Five, but also in that of life â€" and thus my
philosophy on mentoring was born.

O------ MENTOR ------O

Some say that I take a rather motherly approach to being a mentor, as I believe
in being available for all their needs whether it is related to official
business or not. I demand excellence from each of my students, as I know there
is no excuse for less. They are given a world of knowledge and simply need to
receive it with open minds. I am very much a preacher of the rule that the only
stupid question is the unasked one.

I believe in giving all the tools necessary for success and being assured that
my student will make full use of them. As a result I have yet to have a protege
who has not become a useful part of society in some form or fashion. I’ve been
there for them through years of study, through times of hardship, pain, and
suffering. I’ve helped them not learn to cope but learn to grow from each of
those moments in time, to weave their way around the knot that blocks their
journey on the tapestry. And each has come out standing on their own two feet,
now guiding others to do as they have done.

O------ THE FORBIDDEN & THE SEEKERS------O

My time in the service of Lord Raezon was rather short compared to most, only
spanning five or six decades. In that time I rose to become His lead ritualist,
guiding other followers, performing sermons, marriages... a role I held very
dear. And in that time I and several followers stumbled upon some pieces of
information regarding the Eternal Flame and began and expedition of sorts into
the deset.

Unfortunately soon after the formation of The Seekers, my home decided it would
be a good idea to tax members who wished to be a part of both organizations, in
fear that if what we sought came to be we would all be gone. This of course did
not sit well with me and soon after I bid my fair Magnagora and the Church
goodbye with the blessings of several. Our pursuits took many years and we
learned many things, but our searching resulted merely in the appearance of an
orb. This was an orb from which power could be drawn and that would explode upon
draining, a fun story that I will reserve for a later date.

After the failure to find any concrete evidence of Guadiguch or Hallifax’s
whereabouts, many of us disbanded, several of us retiring to various planes for
meditation. I spent half a decade contemplating that which I’d learned and
considering what I wished to do with the future.

O------ MOTHERHOOD -----O

I will say that while I may be a wonderful mentor, I am not the most wonderful
of mother’s. Upon returning to the Nihilists, I became pregnant with my
firstborn, Othero. Unfortunately he came at a time when I was also rising back
to a position of power, and thusly was taken care of by other family or hired
help for the majority of his childhood until he could become a member of the
Church. Following him was his sister, Nariah. Both of my children fell to the
wayside, fending for themselves most of the time, while I pursued a dream I
eventually attained.

O------ LEADERSHIP ------O

By this point in my life I’d held several roles of responsibility, but none
so grand as the two I was now about to tackle. I became The Mystagogue of the
Dark Fates, followed by elevation to The Heresiarch of the Midnight Legions. I
look fondly upon those years as a leader of the Fold. It was quite a lot of
work, often unseen, often unappreciated, and yet rewarding in a way that few
will ever know. Since that time I’ve handed both set of reigns off to my
children, who I am filled with pride to say have held on far longer than I could
have ever imagined.

O------ THE LEGION ------O

Having been without a Divine guide for many decades, the arrival of The Legion
sparked a part of me that had been dormant. I once again had the chance to
learn, to guide, to preach and leaped at the opportunity to do so.

The Lord’s teachings come very natural to any being who understands the
primal instincts of their existence and do not fight against them. Hunger for
sustenance, the drive to attain, to consume, to grow. It is a part of our very
essence that pushes us to become more than what we are each moment, to reach for
something higher. It was what I had been waiting for.

O------ THE FUTURE ------O

And then there is now. I find myself once again looking out upon the roads of
life, questioning what it is I shall do with the time before me. What do I have
to give? Who is worthy of receiving it? And what is it I shall strive for now.

It is in these older years, where there a few faces left I know from my young
life, that we reflect upon what has been and ponder what could be. By the grace
of gods my journey is far from over, my thread still strong and ready to weave
its way. From here, where shall the road take me?