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Episode One: A Plastic Pineapple
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"Foolish? I think not."

"Yes, you are. The idea itself is plain ridiculous. Why in the world would
someone hide something inside a plastic pineapple?!"

"It's to ensure their safety, of course! Who knows what kind of important
evidence could be here, hidden so no one else could ever find it. A cunning way
to hide one's own guilt, don't you think?"

"No. If you don't want something to be seen, you destroy it or keep it with
yourself at all times. Hiding it in a place like this is just dumb."

This is where I roll my eyes. My young assistant is apparently oblivious to
the fact that we’re dealing with an evil mastermind here. Anything is
possible. As I continue with my attempts to open this accursed pineapple, I
notice my assistant looking at me like I was the one who's moonstruck here. How
very typical. However, I have a good feeling about this! Just because the last
time I had that feeling was a failure, it doesn't mean this time will.

"Ahah!" I exclaim triumphantly as I finally manage to open the pineapple, only
to find a few golden sovereigns inside it.

"Is that actually what I think it is?"

"Yes, gold. Disappointing. However, my feeling was right, there indeed was
something inside." I tell him with a winning smile. Sadly, his skeptical
attitude is ever-present, though.

"Why would someone hide eleven golden sovereigns inside a plastic pineapple!?"

"I'm sure many people do things like that just to hide their money, there's
nothing peculiar about that. For example, I hide mine inside a plastic pig
figurine. It's brilliant, who would think of looking for someone's money inside
a pig?"

"You would, apparently. Be careful, if you run into someone who's as
'imaginative' as you are, you might lose your money," he replies with an
irritable tone in his voice. Nevertheless, he has a point.

"You have a point. I'd better think of something else. Meanwhile, let's get on
with the investigation. Poor Countess' soul must be horrified, as the person who
murdered her still runs free."

"Oh, she's horrified alright. Because you're the detective trying to catch that
person. I just hope Gumboliah Brooks is more competent than we are."

Ah, Magistrate Gumboliah Brooks, my arch-nemesis. Whenever I find myself a
mystery to solve, he's always there before me, just in time to hide all the
evidence. As if that's not enough, every time he manages to get his hands on a
case, the perpetrator always somehow manages to escape. Well, I'm no fool! It's
more than obvious that he works with all those criminals; I just have to prove
it.

"You count on that nincompoop? With his poor deduction abilities, he'll
probably come to the conclusion that the killer was me."

"I suppose you're right. When you talked to him, he sounded more clueless than
were back then. Which reminds me, we're lucky we even found a piece of evidence
that actually counts. Gods truly look after fools."

"What are you saying? We can thank them for granting me such exceptional
perception, but looking out for fools? I fail to see how that makes sense."

"Perception? You accidentally crashed into a bookcase and found the murder
weapon while running away from the 'demon'."

"Do not mock me; I am assured that person is sort of a demon in a disguise of a
human! Besides, did you not hear him? That language he speaks is foul!"

"No, that demon is Darcy Wainwright and he has an accent. Idiot."

Hmph. My assistant seems to defend these strange characters a bit too often.
Perhaps I shouldn't trust him either.

"In any case, detective McTrenchcoat, could we finally move on with this
investigation? I have an appointment later this day, and I do not want to miss
it." I'm not sure I appreciate the tone he used to say my name.

"Investigation of a crime is not something that should be rushed, my boy! We'll
do things step by step. And our next step is lady Fennela Estenborough. I heard
she was the victim's closest friend. Paying her a visit is bound to bring up
something useful for us."

"You heard? You mean, that Archie-guy told you. While we're at it, he's the one
we should be investigating, if you ask me. Remember, he was all flustered when
we caught him messing with that pot in the solarium. I bet he was hiding
something."

"That's ridiculous. Why in the world would someone hide something inside a
pot?" I ask. Hah, I left him speechless. Serves him right!

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Episode Two: Detective McGreatrobes
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"Good evening, Miss Estenborough. My apologies for disturbing your peace, I am
sure these are troubled times for you. However, we'd like to have a word-"

"You forgot to introduce yourself, good sir. Such behavior is indecorous," she
coldly interrupts me with a wry smile. Interesting, she manages to break a smile
so soon after her supposed best friend dies horribly. Suspicious much?

"You're right indeed. I am detective McTrenchcoat and this is my fateful
assistant. We're the ones working on the murder case of this mansion, although
we're not to be associated with that fraud, Brooks."

"Ah, I should have known. Well then, ask away, detective McGreatrobes. I'll be
happy to help anyone trying to find the murderer." Did she just say what I think
she said?

"It's McTrenchcoat, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"My name is Scruffy McTrenchcoat. You said McGreatrobes."

"My dear, you must be having hearing problems. You haven't been eating earwort
lately, have you?"

"Uh, I don't think so. Never mind that, we have more important business right
now. Speak to me of the circumstances of the murder. No one else seems to know
anything about it." I state. She looks at me with an annoyed look in her eyes
and opens her mouth, but my assistant interrupts her before she even starts
talking.

"Wrong, master Scruffy. Wainwright was more than willing to tell you about the
murder, but judging by your panic attack, you seemed more interested in that
lovely bookcase in the library. I swear, you're a walking hurricane. By the way,
your first name is Scruffy? Seriously?"

"Ah, so you were the cause of that mess. The butler will take care of it this
time. He has no other work to do around here these days after all. Try being
more careful next time, or else I'll have to... escort you out of the mansion."
Fennela says. Hold it, there's a butler in this house? I'm feeling a bit
peckish, I wonder if he could get me an apple. A big tasty red apple. Yum.

"Of course. Now, Miss Estenborough, could you finally tell me about the
circumstances of Cecelia's apple? Err, murder, that's what I meant."

"Fine, but listen carefully, McRaincoat. I'm not repeating myself."

This is where I finally find out about the murder. It sounds rather simple;
Cecelia was murdered in the ballroom during a small party. Strangely, although
it was done in front of everyone, no one saw the real killer. Obviously,
everyone ran away in panic. Lady Cecelia's body was found afterwards in her
bedroom wardrobe - upstairs. Now, that is what I call a mystery!

"Well, this does raise some quite curious questions, doesn't it, my dear
assistant?"

"For once, we agree. However, while it raises some new questions, there is also
one thing this testimony proves."

"Indeed! The fact that the victim was stabbed to death!"

"What, no. We already knew that, didn't we? After all, we have the murder
weapon." he says while waving that blood-stained knife like it's some sort of a
toy. This is the item I found inside the bookcase, thanks to my superior
percept-

"Ah! I have seen this dagger before," Fennela exclaims, looking a bit startled
by the red stains on the knife.

"You have? Where? It could be important!" I yell as I grab her shoulders,
shaking her up to... Hold on, why exactly do people do that? It doesn't seem to
serve any purpose. How ridiculous.

"I-I have seen that knife in the kitchen right before the party. I don't think
it means anything, I was merely trying to say this knife is made of pure silver.
You should return it; it's the property of the Stewarts Mansion."

"Ponder, ponder. If the knife was seen in the kitchen, then the culprit must
have known about it! I can only conclude that the cook did it! It makes perfect
sense," I finally exclaim.

"No. It really doesn't."

"Silence, assistant! You are here to assist me and learn how to do this job
properly. Now, let's head to the cook's quarters!"

"I pity the fool that decides to take this job after I quit. Or die."

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Episode Three: Archibald's Secret
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"It's a mistake anyone could've made, I assure you."

"Of course it is. Because the suggestion of a cook using a knife in the kitchen
is absolutely ludicrous."

"You have to understand that I'm a detective, my boy. I heard nothing about a
cook and a kitchen, I only heard that this knife, the murder weapon, was seen in
someone's possession before the murder occurred."

"I see, so that makes it perfectly alright for you to barge into the woman's
room and threaten to 'bring her to justice' for murdering her employer. You even
made her cry and beg for mercy, for crying out loud. Smooth move, detective."

My methods do not seem to be appreciated here, but no matter. They have never
failed me, and that is a reason enough for me to continue using them. This time,
however, the villain is smart and quick in his actions, but I'm smarter and
quicker. I will not lose!

"In any case, that's all behind us now, we need to move forward. What do you
propose our next step should be? It seems quite difficult to proceed from this
point." I state, knowing we have reached a dead end. If only I had more clues to
work with…

"You seriously have no idea, do you? Let me give you a hint. There was a
certain someone acting extremely suspicious in the solarium earlier. Almost as
if he was trying to hide something." he says. What in the world is he talking
about? His confusing riddles aren't helping our case.

"Enlighten me."

"Archibald! We basically caught him red-handed and you acted like you didn't
see a thing! Not only that, he was stuttering all the way through the
conversation, too!"

"Hold it right there. Are you mocking the poor man for his speech disorder? I
cannot believe this. I thought I knew you…"

His shame becomes immediately apparent as he tries to cover his face with his
hand. I will not badger him further, he obviously learned his lesson. I should
be happy I have such an intelligent assistant, although he's still a bit rough
on the edges.

"Listen, can we please just check up on that guy? I have a good feeling we'll
find something there," he says. Well, if he has a good feeling, why not?

"No problem, let's head there immediately. After all, we have no better choice
due to our lack of clues."

Two minutes later we find our way back to the solarium. On another note, I
found an apple on our way here. It is such a perfect apple, too! will save it
for later, for the celebration of my victory over the murderer.

"Let's see, there must be something important around here," my assistant
mumbles as he searches through the pots. I am seriously starting to worry about
his mental health, no normal person would search the pots for no reason. Looking
at him like this makes me somewhat sad. However, suddenly...

"Ahah! I knew it! There's something in here!"

"What is it?!"

"This is... Oh. Ooh, so that's it."

"What are you talking about? Speak up, assistant!"

"Well, look for yourself. Our good old Archibald has quite a... Fetish." he
says, which sort of makes me feel extremely disturbed. As I take a good look at
the papers he's holding, I quickly realize what he meant by that strangely weird
statement.

"This is quite... Unexpected. It's very well painted, I have to notice. The
person who drew these paintings is clearly a professional. Is this position even
physically possible, by the way?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm no racist, detective, but I'm not really into kephera."

"That's enough," I suddenly hear a deep voice coming from the doorway. There I
see a cloaked figure, its face unrevealed. Quite a creepy sight, as if it's
radiating some sort of dark aura which quickly engulfs the whole room.

"Who are you?" I ask bravely, taking my special defensive stance.

"None of your business, detective. Nothing in this mansion is. You will suffer
the consequences for your meddling in our business." the figure says as it
unsheathes a knife - just like the one used to murder Lady Cecelia - and leaps
towards me swiftly like a tiger. However, I nimbly avoid the blow and strike the
figure with my powerful fist. It staggers for a moment, but quickly restores its
balance.

A fierce battle ensues. The figure is quite fast, even for my combat skills.
However, I will not fall before this enemy. This is the perfect position for a
detective. This person murdered Lady Cecelia and appeared right in front of me!
No clues will be necessary, no further investigation. I just have to subdue it
and remove its hood. You will not go unpunished, murderer! Suffer the fate of
being the target of the legendary detective Scruffy McTrenchcoat!

And finally, the victory is mine. As a finishing move to this epic battle, I
finally manage to move in closer to the figure and remove the hood with one
quick movement. The mystery is revealed.

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Episode Four: Mystery's End
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"Lady Cecelia?! This is not possible! In fact, it's impossible!"

I cannot believe what my eyes show me. The figure I was fighting for so long
turned out to be none other than the victim herself? How can this make any
sense? This turn of events was more than unexpected.

"Looks like you caught me. Well, no use hiding everything now, is there?"

"Damn straight! Were you not supposed to be dead? What madness is this?"

"Let me explain, detective! I promise you, I will not attack you again." she
says, throwing her weapon on the floor. For a moment there, I thought the weapon
was being thrown at me, but that is most likely my imagination.

And then, I hear all about it. Finally, this case is making some sense. After
surviving the murder attempt, she knew that whoever assaulted her was out to get
her fortune, so she thought of a master plan to find that person by waiting for
him or her to grab the money and attempt to run. Gumboliah Brooks was hired to
keep other detectives away since the case became so popular in a very short
time. This is why she personally attacked me. My great detective abilities were
endangering her plan like no other. I have to compliment her, her plan was very
well thought out! She truly fights skillfully for a countess, too.

"Well, my apologies to you, Lady Cecelia. We did not realize our presence was
bothering you."

"No matter. Just leave as soon as possible!"

"You know, something's wrong. If we continued our investigation, we would've
eventually found the person who 'murdered' you, anyway. Plus, Gumboliah wasn't
really trying to keep us away at all. In fact, he was welcoming us in." my
assistant says with that familiar skeptical look on his face. He clearly fails
to see a brilliant, but fragile plan that's being executed.

"Isn't it obvious? It was too late to stop the plan, everything would be ruined
if you accidentally found out I'm in fact alive. As for Gumboliah, you can be
sure I'll make him pay for his actions, since he is doing his job rather
poorly."

"You see? Nothing to be worried about! On top of everything, Gumboliah will
finally get what he truly deserves. Let's leave this place and celebrate, for
the attacker in this story shall reveal himself in time without our help. Lady
Cecelia's trap is perfect!"

"Of course it is. Just like everything in this bloody mansion. Frankly, I'm
fine with that explanation no matter how farfetched and ridiculous it sounds. I
just want to get out of here."

"That's the spirit!"

Ahh, I finally get to feel the fresh air. Oh, how great it feels after solving
a great murder case. Perhaps it's just a bit too early for that, but I shall
celebrate anyway! I could've only hoped I'll enjoy my victory apple this soon.

As I bite the apple expecting to feel the tasty juices, I sadly realize it's
made out of plastic just like that pineapple from earlier. As I take a better
look at it, I notice a crumpled piece of paper inside. Out of curiosity, I read
it: 'Montgomery, if you screw up, your plan will fail. You're an idiot if you
expect to get through with that lie. Not to mention that using Glamours like
that is ridiculous, even stupid.'

And below that, in a different handwriting: 'Don't worry, Albert, the guy's an
idiot. It'll be alright. I mean, he thinks Darcy is a demon. Trust me, once
they're out of the picture, the gold is ours.'

Ha! I knew someone else noticess the foulness inside that person! However,
this note is nothing to be happy about. In fact, I ought to burn it. Curse those
nobles and their schemes, always trying to trick others only to gain even more
money for themselves.