**Prologue**

It is almost shameful, now, looking at these pages now… to see to what levels
I was reduced…
In retrospect I guess we're all omnipotent, almost, judging ourselves
critically because we know things we did not back then.
Perhaps shame isn't really appropriate, isn't warranted… but it is there
nonetheless- nudging softly when it is dark and quiet.

My eyelids are heavy, having remained closed for so long… what precious gifts
they are, my eyes…. And for so many years I have spent with them shut,

blindly striking at enemies I knew not, but was ordered to kill, hate,
condemn…

By forces which I will never be able to define, I was brought back from my self
induced slumber…. Awoken to see that the world has moved on, changed, vernal
Gods rose and fell, the cities broke free of their stasis… another Soulless
was discovered.
Much, much changed… and I find myself both sad and elated… sad for I no
longer am the person who I once was… sad for the time and things lost. But
also elated, for I was given a chance to live anew, to rise from my ashes.

Indulge me a moment more, stranger, and hear the things I wrote… like many
stories, this may prove to be useful, may reflect well unto your life, may
inspire a different angle on things.

Do not scoff, do not shut your ears as I have shut eyes… you say you believe
in freedom? I say that freedom is none-existent if one is ill equipped with
knowledge, for how can one make a choice when he isn't aware of his options?

Ah, a glitter of interest, a slight perk of the ear? Good… good. Hear me, and
perhaps you will be spared my mistakes.

***part II***

Journal of Narses,
Date: unknown.

It is quiet now, in these glades within the Serenwilde… serene, at this time
of twilight.
My conviction has drained from me… and I know not when. I feel burdened…
burdened by ideals that may or may not be my own… by hate that was force-fed
down my throat for so long… by so many factions, so much hate.

I hate Glomdoring for making me what I am now, of depriving me what I may have
been. The parasitic nature of the Wyrd, cloaking itself in blindness and

shadow â€" recruiting more and more blind fanatics who believe in this morbid
mockery of evolution.

New Celest… for their incapacity to live and let be, for enforcing their
"Light" at all costs and unto all…

Magnagora… the Taint drove you to unspeakable acts, I know what happens to
the starving beggars in your streets, I heard the demonic orgy of cruelty and
malice pierce the night.

Serenwilde… beloved forest, had I not experienced that which I have… maybe
I could find peace here. But I have seen it take too many opposing stands, I no
longer know what I am supposed believe in.

My heart beats a rhythm that brings me nothing but unease. Cairam… beloved
fair, you're gone... and when I do see you, it's like I no longer know you…

perhaps you changed, perhaps I did.

I love you, always have and I always shall… but it is time, I feel, to put my
life into closure.

Slumber shall I, for my soul longs for release of this never-ending weariness.
I do not know if and when I'll wake… but this heart of mine can no longer

beat as it does now, it is fading, and so shall I.

Go well basin, may you see many winters and great joys.

Narses.

***Part III***

You see… I was lost, I did not know who, or what I was… what I had become.
People sometimes yearn for freedom without understanding what freedom is…
willingly tying themselves to masters, mayors and leaders- making puppets of
themselves, and joyfully handing the string to one liege or another.

Mistakenly believing that they are free, because they choose it… it is true
that by choice they gave it away, but it is also true that in many cases, this
decision is made out of ignorance.

You lose patience, I can tell… sigh

Who can blame you, for I too had little patience for the babble of old men,
bear with me though… for to the light at the end of this tunnel is up a head.

***Part IV***

I was disoriented, and… awake, of sorts.
My eyelids heavy, my sight blurred and unfocused. I was sitting, and around me
a bar.

"Ah you're awake, it's about damn time!"

I tried to focus my eyes, seeing a dracnari clad in crimson and gold smirking
at me.

"I think you have had one too many puffs of weed, I was kind enough to drag
your sorry form back into the city. My graciousness is at an end however, I will
be heading out to the house of meditation. Go back to your home… and for the
Flame's sake, take a bath!".

He left me then, I was incapable of thanking him… my tongue was numb and my
head so sore…

I closed my eyes and… What is this? Glomdoring again?

I was with a fellow Blacktalon at the Ravenwood Tree, a young man was hanging
limp by thorny vines.

"Why did you enter the Glomdoring?!" I heard myself shout, my face a mask of
fury and malice.

The young man was shaking, sobbing that he sought refuge and wished to hunt to
sustain his family and him. I tried to scream to myself, I wanted to stop… my
arm rose, and the cudgel burst forth, sending splinters that peeled away the
man's skin from his face.

He screamed, and became limp.

I wanted to cry… but I couldn't, I was a prisoner of this hazy memory.

The other Blacktalon looked at me, his crimson eyes twinkling, "It seems we
need to hunt the rest of his kin", laughing with mirth.

A great blackness… and I was in the tavern again. I was shaking, crying
maybe.

I remember the clamor, people drinking and laughing loudly… drunkenly lolling
from place to place… no one paid any heed to the heap sitting beside the
corner table… and I was again losing focus.

"Narses!, you are one of us. You call yourself free? You gave yourself to a
different master"
"You are no less a slave, die you worm!"

I was on Faethorn, my spirit linked to the earth, trees and creatures of the
Wilde, all trying to fight off the Wyrd. I felt so alive, fighting the force I
once served… but I knew that vile though they were, they were also right…
and with that knowing, I fell into darkness.

Again, my vision returns… I am standing now, walking… in that noisy bar. I
don't know where or I am, or when, I have been dormant for… how long?

"What is this place?" I asked the bartender. He was a short fellow, but what he
lacked in height he made up for in width- I have never seen such a large dwarf,
and I have lived quite a few years.

"Oi you're asking Beloch where ya are?", He answered, with the scent of whisky
heavy on his breath". "Me'thinks you perhaps partied too much with the hookah?"
He roared with laughter, slapping himself on his belly.

I was losing focus, my knees were shaking. "Please just tell me where I am at"
I asked, desperately trying not to faint.

"Why you're in the tavern of Gaudiguch my hallucinating friend!" he bellowed.

Oblivion took me.
***

Awareness seeped slowly, a voice calling "Wake up, indeed this is a place for
meditations, but the point of meditating is to do so awake you know". My vision
cleared, and I saw before me a lanky Dracnari with thin spectacles mounted over
his eyes, constantly sliding off only to be readjusted a moment later.

"Who are you?" I groaned.

"Who am I? You mean you're not an initiate?" he contemplated me for a moment
before sighing. "I guess not, you were dragged here a few hours ago… they told
me you were incoherent, thought that maybe you smoked some bad weed. Did you
manage to poison yourself?"

I slowly shook my head, "No… no. I don't think so… at least. I have been
dormant for what seems like eternity. I am not even sure if you're real or not,
imagine, someone told me I was in a bar in Gaudiguch! Ha!"

He furrowed his brow and said "Well, my name is Tleeth, Miseoki Tleeth.. and
you are currently residing in the House of Meditation of the Blazing city of
Gaudiguch".

"I… what? No… Gaudiguch and Hallifax are locked in stasis… wait, is that
where I am? Within the stasis prison?" I asked anxiously.

With a glitter of amusement in his eyes, the dracnari shook his head "Nay nay,
both cities have been released from that poor state… how long have you been
dormant?"

"I don't know… I recall the rise of the first Vernal God… the White
flame… that wasn't long before I departed".

The dracnari blinked quietly once, twice. "What?" I asked.

"If I am not very much mistaken, you have not been here for around 40 or so
years… and many things have come to pass in the Basin at that time" he said,
calmly readjusting his spectacles.

"40… years?" I exclaimed, "Why did I re-awake?!, if what you say is true, all
I have known and loved is probably nothing but ash."

"Calm yourself" he said, "Consider the chaotic spiderling who…"

"Calm?! What does this have anything to do with spiderlings now!"

"You have been given a precious opportunity child, at the city of Freedom and
Rebirth, you may rise from the ashes of old, anew." He calmly said, spreading
his arms in a welcoming gesture.

"I…, how?"

He laughed then, "Such answers are not for me to give, but for you to seek and
find. Contemplate with me if you will, about the lizard who thought it was a
rat… and tried it's luck in Magnagora…"

***A New Beginning***

"And so I stayed, in that serene place… I can't say I understood even half of
the complicated spiritual journeys the masters suggested… but I do know that
with each philosophical debate I regained more and more of myself… no answer
was wrong, always right. No one expected me to answer in a certain way, no
tests… The flame that had been extinguished deep within me had been sparked
anew, by tales bizarre and at times, downright absurd.

I have however regained my sense of self, and my capacity to learn and think on
my own.

I have ended my marriage with Cairam, my old love. A place in my heart she
shall always have, but life is a circle… one fire is extinguished, and another
is sparked… farewell to you my fair wife.

I have learned that Freedom comes at a cost, for ignorance binds us, limits our
perception and view of our real options, warping our ideals and sense of
judgment."

"So… initiate, you stand before me and ask me why should you let me escort
you to see the Masters?". "I have been through Nil and Celestia, The tainted
realm of Earth and the ever shifting realm of Water… and though I lived long,
I was none the wiser. I have been reduced to a shadow of myself, but from the
ashes, I rose."

"Why should I believe this fancy tale of yours?" the youth then asked. I
chuckled, "Why indeed? You are welcome to this place- you are free to choose".

I turned around and left then, making my way back down the street when a hand
clasped my shoulder from behind"

"I will" he panted, "Be honored to follow you".

"No" I said, "Never follow blindly. Allow me to â€"accompany- you to the House
of Meditation". He smiled and nodded.

At the distance, the Eternal Flame roared, illuminating the night.