All stories begin with 'Once upon a time', yes? Of course. Once upon a time
there was a rat of superior handsomeness and equally superior faculties whose
name was Dantes (that is me). And at the same unspecific point in time there was
also Mushka, the most glorious lady rat in Lusternia. Ah! She is unique. Such
softness, such sleekness, such charm, such wit! I could talk all of the day
about the marvellous Mushka, but I will not do so because this story is actually
about brown-furred creatures with duck's beaks and webbed feet with poisonous
claws. Yes: it is to be an unlikely story.

It was Shrift night at the Glittering Ladybird Club (a very exclusive place, you
will have heard of it). I was there with the usual crowd: the beautiful lady
Mushka, that mischievous Volucer, and soulful Icelus. The game was progressing
much as usual: that cunning Volucer was winning, and Icelus, as usual, was
losing.

Icelus, he lacks the gift for Shrift, you understand me? He has no feel for the
cards, but still he plays. Mushka, she has the tender heart of a lady, she
cannot bear to see him downcast when he loses! And so I, with all my brains and
wit and smoothness, agreed to cheat.

Yes! I said Cheat! I admit it freely, I have the gift. The cards, they do
whatever I tell them. I told them to be kind to Icelus, and of course they
obeyed me. But there was a problem, a very big problem which called itself
Volucer.

Volucer is a sly one. The cards are fond of him, too, and he is fond of the
cards. He is fond of the winning! Usually he has so much of the sense of humour,
he is harmless, but he did not like me for cheating.

"Dantes," he said to me. "For that, I eat you."

Mushka, she shrieked and shrilled and broke our ears but still he said "I eat
you". And he looked as if he meant it, too! Over to me he came, looming (for,
though I am a large rat as rats go, he is still much taller than me) and he put
his sharp beak next to my face and said "I eat you for supper, and then I eat
the Mushka for breakfast hm?"

Now, since this time many have said to me, "Do not be so stupid, Dantes, the
Volucer is a joker! He would never eat you!" And perhaps they are right, no?
Perhaps the Volucer was only teasing. But as he had threatened my Mushka, I had
no choice.

"Wait!" I said, with my admirable calm. "If you eat us, our big brother will be
after you!"

Volucer paused. "You do not have a brother," he said, with his big eyes fixed on
me. "No brothers! Who is to come after me?"

"His name is Andromachus!" shrilled Mushka. Indeed, she has the admirable
presence of mind.

"I have not heard of this rat called Andromachus," said Volucer. Icelus was
confused, and then he was upset with the Volucer. He growled a little, and shook
that big head of his.

"Do not worry, my friend," I said to him in a cunning aside. "We have the
Volucer under control."

And then I said to Volucer "But he is not a rat! He is a cat."

"Like a cat," said Mushka. "Similar. Quite big-ish, with claws." She measured a
large space with her paws.

"He has fur like a cat," I agreed. "Brown."

"No, he has fur like a beaver!" said Mushka. "And a beak like a duck!" She has
always been the most creative of the rats.

"He has long claws," I said, "with poison in them."

"Yes, poison!" said my Mushka. "Deadly poison!

"He is terrifying, I assure you."

"He has webbed feet!" said my Mushka. "And a fat tail!" I confess, I began to
wish her a shade or two less creative.

"He has a pouch on his belly!" she squeaked. "In which he keeps his arsenal of
destruction."

Was the arsenal of destruction too much for Volucer? Perhaps it was so, for he
said "Dantes, you are a liar as well as a cheat, and now I must definitely eat
you."

"We will prove it!" said Mushka.

Volucer did his bird-laugh and looked at her. "You have one day to bring me the
Andromachus!"

Disaster is surely what you are thinking! But no. There is no such thing as
disaster for such a talented pair of rats! We knew immediately what to do. We
went to see Bollikin.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

We found him with Tae, as usual. I began immediately.

"Bollikin," I said gravely. "You are surely the most creative of the Creators!
Look at the variety of creatures you have made! You made the mice: small, furred
and soft, with their long tails and their little teeth and their shiny black
eyes. You made the rats like ourselves: sleek and soft with our long tails and
our towering intellect (certainly your greatest creation). You have made the
rabbits, with those long, long ears and tiny puff tails, such creativity!

"The foxes!" said my Mushka, rapturously. "So handsome and red and furred, and
also so deadly! A masterpiece."

"The badgers!" I added. "Those black and white stripes! However did you think of
it?"

Bollikin seemed pleased, and Tae, he was more than pleased. He called Bollikin a
genius and many other nice things, and of course my Mushka and I nodded and
agreed with everything.

"But it is some time since you have created anything," said I, in a tone of
great sadness. "Long have Mushka and I wished to see you work, but we have
missed our chance! The great Bollikin no longer creates."

"That's right, Bolli!" said Tae, just as obligingly as if he had agreed to help
us. "Make something new!"

"Perhaps you have not yet reached the heights of your creativity!" I suggested,
slyly. "Perhaps you will something so unusual, so unique, so creative that it
will put to shame all lesser creatures!"

"Well," said Bollikin vaguely. "I did have an idea for something a little bigger
than some of my earlier creatures..."

"Give it brown fur!" said Mushka excitedly.

"Brown fur?" repeated Bollikin. "Why not, indeed! A brown-furred creature,
with-"

"Webbed feet!" squealed Mushka.

"Webbed feet," repeated Bollikin. "Why, that would make it aquatic. A bit like
the otters, in fact."

"Yes, like the otters!" I said. "But with better claws."

"Long claws," noted the Creator. "This is becoming quite interesting."

"Little black eyes," I said.

"A fat tail," said Mushka.

Bollikin began to look doubtful, but Tae was nodding enthusiastically with
everything we said.

"It could have a nose like an otter, and a similar body structure..." murmured
Bollikin.

"No, no!" said I, frantically, and my Mushka said "No! It should have a duck's
bill!"

Bollikin balked at that. "A duck's bill! My dear rats, this is too outlandish."
But Tae was laughing with delight. "Yes, yes!" he said.

I pushed this advantage. "It must not be defenceless," I said. "Such a unique
creature will attract a lot of attention! I say put some poison in its spurs."

Bollikin blinked at me. "Well, that would certainly be unusual."

"Yes!" said Mushka. "Brilliantly unusual! And there is one more thing. Long have
I suffered from the impossibility of carrying anything with me. Long have I
wished that I had been granted some receptacle for the purpose!"

I put one paw on the Mushka's belly. "Just here would have been perfect, would
it not?" I said.

"Perfect," she purred. "A pouch on here and I would never be at a loss again!"

This was too much for Bollikin, and Tae had stopped nodding. He looked confused.

"This is becoming a little silly," Bollikin chided us gently. "No pouch, but
perhaps the rest..."

Yes! We watched avidly, expecting the creature to appear at any moment.

"I am sorry, rats," said the Creator. "I will need complete quiet to work such a
marvel. I will tell you when it is complete."

And so we went away with Tae, leaving Bollikin to work in peace.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It took more than a day, much more. Each day Volucer returned, and with that
wicked glint in his eye he threatened once again to eat us. Each day we span a
new tale - goodness! We are the genius storytellers by this time.

"The Andromachus is on holiday! He has gone to visit the bees," said Mushka
once.

"The Andromachus is too busy to visit us today! He is dining with the bears,"
said I another time.

At last Volucer grew tired of this game. "Now," he said, "I will eat you as I
promised."

"But we are not lying!" I protested. And that was when the Andromachus arrived!

He had brown fur like a beaver!

He was fat and flat with a big fleshy tail!

He had little black eyes and a beak like a duck!

He had webbed feet and poisonous spurs!

He was the Andromachus!

"Andy!" I greeted him as if he was an old friend.

Andy blinked his little shiny eyes at me, confused. "I am not called Andy," he
said.

"Big feet..." murmured my Mushka, awed. Indeed his feet were much bigger than
her own; but then she is the little dainty lady rat.

"Very big feet," I agreed. "Broad feet. Clawed feet."

Andy seemed downcast. "Everyone has said that," he said dolefully. "Are they
really so big?"

"Oh, they are the magnificent feet!" I assured him. "I only wish my own were so
large and broad and magnificent as yours."

Volucer was amazed. Ha! We had amazed the tricky Volucer. He inspected the Andy
from every angle. Once he pecked his fur, and had to jump back as Andy swiped at
him with those magnificent clawed, webbed feet.

"I concede," Volucer said at last. "You may be creative with the truth, but this
time you did not lie! But where is the pouch, with the arsenal of destruction?"

Andy was puzzled. "A pouch with a what?" And Mushka, she looked doubtfully at
me.

"Alright," I admitted regretfully. "We were lying about the pouch."