There once was a mugwump
Slick as could be
Her slippery skin
Made a wet filigree

The pride of her village
Her slimy self was
And mugwumps for miles
Were all fiercely abuzz

A mugwump of beauty
Was this young delight
And, confidently
She one day made flight

Away from her hometown
The lusts of the men
She made for the Portal,
New life to begin

And on the way there
The young lass lost her way
She found pretty Delport -
A cute place to stay.

At the Chateau d'Amour
She turned on her charm
But everyone there
Was struck with alarm

She batted her eyes
And giggled at them
They frowned and rebuked her,
The 'Lady of Phlegm'

The woman, discouraged
Went from that place
Hot, wet tears of shame
Crawled down her slick face

She traveled on south
Not knowing her way
And came upon Shanthmark
One warm Tzarin day

The tribesmen all gaped at her
Shining, wet face
And quickly advised her
To vacate that place

She made her way north then
Passing Delport, of course
And then found the Portal,
Ashimmer with force.

She looked at herself then
Her glistening skin
And said, "I'm not pretty -
I'll be an Elfen!"

Her lithe Elfen form was
Slim as could be
All curvy and pretty
"Oh," she said, "Look at me!"

She headed on home then
Eager to see
The looks on the faces
Of everybody!

But when she arrived there
To her chagrin,
Her own kin rebuked her -
"Don't come back again!"