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Stories of the Fall: Live for Me by Catarin
Runner Up for November 2010
In the harsh and unforgiving light of day, the waters of the Inner Sea
grudgingly reveal their flaws to the burning scrutiny of the sun's eternal gaze.
A smear of oil glistening here. Bobbing flotsom there. The sharp lines of
jutting rock piercing the surface, their pits and crags distinct.
Yet when the sun has grown tired and slips beyond the horizon, the true beauty
of the Sea is made apparent as the infinite expanse of stars sheds their lambent
glow upon the surface. In the gentle embrace of starlight, the Sea is
transformed into a radiant expanse. The flaws metamorphize into enhancements or
disappear altogether. The depths shrouded in the mystery of potential.
For Lord Dolph Inalai, observing this transformation was the highlight of his
days. It gave him hope and inspiration that he drew upon to continue the
struggle for another day. Still, there was a lingering sadness even in this.
This was not his Sea.
He turned from the view, making his way back into his study and turning his mind
towards the evening's tasks and away from the pain of the past.
As he settled himself at this desk, a knock sounded on the door.
"Enter." he said, his voice firm and terse.
The door swung open, admitting a young merian garbed in the casual leathers that
denoted an off duty Paladin. He snapped a crisp salute upon entering.
"Lord General." he stated, deep respect coloring his tones.
Lord Inalai stood, returning the salute. "Sir Delith."
Lowering himself back into his chair, he gestured for Delith to take the chair
in front of the desk which he did with brisk efficiency.
"Report."
"Lord General, it pleases me to report that Lady Sanildeth's scouts have
discovered no signs of afflicted presence in the western mountain ranges.
Further, the encampment of sorts they have been observing near the Southgard
mines is no longer a concern."
Dolph raised an eyebrow.
"It appears, as per usual, the afflicted have fallen upon each other. There were
no survivors."
A brief flash of sorrow crossed Dolph's countenance before he once again
schooled his features.
"I see. Have the scouts returned to the city?" He asked.
"Briefly my Lord. Lady Sanildeth has agreed to escort a supply train to
Stewartsville."
"Good. The droughts have hit them particularly hard this year. Inform Lady
Sanildeth that her troop is on a three day leave when they return."
"Yes my Lord." Delith replied, waiting for a moment to see if there was more.
When nothing came he rose and saluted once more before exiting.
When the door closed, Dolph leaned back with a sigh. Three days leave after a
six month deployment. It was not enough. It was never enough. Yet he could
afford to give no more. There were not enough Paladins. There was never enough
time.
The Basin was trying very hard to crumble and only the stubborn hands of what
remained of Celest held it together. Food, medicine, building supplies. For two
years after the Fall, Celest had been the only source of survival for the
villages and remote settlements of the Basin. Cut off suddenly from the trade
that had sustained them. Attacked by roving bands of hideously afflicted
creatures. Unable to travel the roads without being fully armed.
Celest rallied together, a good portion of their leadership structure surviving.
Whilst they rebuilt their shining city, they gave to the point of bankruptcy so
that the Basin might survive. The government had thrown open the reserves
secreted about the Empire. The Imperial families stripped themselves bare to
secure the Basin's future. Their largesse was met with wariness at best and
sullen resentment at worst. That the Basin blamed them for the Fall was quite
clear.
It was fine. They were to blame. They could never give enough to warrant
absolution.
His morose thoughts were interrupted by a jaunty knock followed by the door
opening with little pause. Dressed in finery likely inappropriate for the times,
a small merian woman of an age with Dolph strolled into the office as if it was
her own. Rather than taking offense as this casual interruption of his privacy,
Dolph smiled a rare smile and rose to greet an old friend.
"Lady Sinenth." He murmured, bowing over her outstretched hand.
"Lord Inalai." She replied, an impish smile dancing about her lips.
He pulled a chair out for her and watched fondly as she settled herself
gracefully, arranging her dress so it fell properly and relaxing into a pose of
noble indolence.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked as he sat, with far more economy of
movement, in his own chair.
She tutted, throwing him a sidelong look of exasperation. "As if you could not
guess. Your Lady Mother called upon me this afternoon. Do you know what the
subject was?"
"I could make a wager."
"Save your gold. It was about you, of course. Or more precisely, the singularity
of you."
Dolph grimaced, waving his hand in a tired sign of resignment. "An old
argument."
"Yes. Yet still just as valid. I promised her I would speak to you. As much good
as it will do. So, here I am. Are you prepared for my diatribe?" She asked,
smiling slightly.
"I await it with baited breath."
"Excellent. It is your responsibility, nay dare I say duty, as The Inalai to
beget an heir; much as it is the duty of any sitting Imperial head of house.
Failure to do so is akin to spitting in the face of history, tradition, and
every ancestor who bled and toiled - rather more bleeding than most given your
family - to secure the glory of your House. Do you truly wish the Inalai line to
fall to the distaff? To poor cousin Franth with his host of nervous afflictions?
For shame Lord Inalai, for shame." She finished with a flourish, her voice
ringing with authority in the still office.
"Quite inspiring Lady Sinenth. If I closed my eyes I would think my mother sat
before me." He drawled, his voice amused though his eyes were shuttered.
"Truly? Then I may consider my promise fulfilled. Though in truth it was no
great sacrifice. We see you very little these days so an excuse was welcome. I
have begun to think you plan on making the Keep your Seat." Her tone was
cheerful but the worry was clear to read if one knew her.
He gave a lethargic shrug. "I too miss the gatherings but with so much to do,
the Keep may as well be my Seat. There is only so much deriliction of my duty I
can abide."
She tutted in fond exasperation. "Quite but tell me truly Dolph, how are you? I
see little of the boy I knew in the man before me but there is enough to give me
hope."
"Hope is a rare commodity in these dark times Dora. It pleases me you find some
in me. I can give little more than that though. Nor can I anwer your question in
terms likely to please. I am. Beyond that I cannot say."
"Cannot or will not?" She queried, her voice suddenly sharp.
He waved dismissively. "Is there any import to the difference?"
"There may be."
"Then my original statement stands."
She frowned slightly, momentarily frustrated. "I see. I worry for you my
friend."
"There are greater things to worry over." He stated tiredly.
She replied flippantly. "I leave those to you. Such duty is bred into you, not
me."
"I fear I have no salve for the worry."
"I fear that as well."
Silence descended though the air was heavy with unspoken words.
"Will you marry?" She asked suddenly.
"I will not." He replied calmly.
"Will you have a child?"
"An illegitimate heir is little better than none at all."
"In the old world perhaps. In this new world, your blood in their veins will be
enough to secure their position. No one will question it if you acknowledge the
child."
"Perhaps. Perhaps my true concern is the idea of bringing a child into this
world. What can I offer them? My heart rests in a watery grave in a far away
sea. All that remains is duty and the slight joy I find in reminders of my old
life. The child would be warped by me and burdened by expectations."
Silence descended once more.
Lady Sinenth gazed thoughtfully at Dolph. His words had merit and indeed, she
had had similar thoughts in the years since the Fall. Yet she had married and
her son was now two and already being groomed to take up her Seat. Her duty
overrode her doubts. But she knew it was different with the Inalai. She could
not imagine loving someone and losing them. Not to death but to divinity.
Forever out of reach. A sort of living torture. But it could not continue.
They all had their pains. Her own father had been in Magnagora at the Fall. She
hoped he had died but there were enough eyewitness accounts to make it clear he
had not. Similar stories were rampant in this New Celest. They all had their
pains.
"I will not insult you by stating I understand. I do not. I can not. I do not
want to. I realize my next words are a cliche yet I feel they must be said. Mari
would not want this for you. This half life. Do you think she sacrificed herself
so you could spend the remainder of your days half a man?"
Something akin to anger sparked in his eyes and he opened his mouth to
interrupt.
She shifted forward in agitation, her arrogant pose dropped."No! You will listen
to me. I love her too Dolph. All of the old set do. She was the sister I never
had. We all grew up together for light's sake! Yes, your love was different but
we all feel the pain."
She paused, composing herself and fighting back what looked suspiciously like
tears.
Her voice was tight as she continued. "She gave herself for us. She gave herself
for our people. She gave herself for our survival but most importantly she gave
herself for YOU. So you might survive. So you might have a life."
Dolph stood suddenly, leaning forward in agitation, his imposing frame dwarfing
Dora, his sapphire eyes sparking with anger, pain, and unshed tears.
"A life? What life without her? What life without our home? With half of our
families and friends twisted beyond recognition by Kethuru's touch? Cursed to
the horror of a half life with their soul wiped of all but their most base
desires? THIS IS NOT A LIFE!" His voice boomed out, leaving an uneasy silence in
its wake, even the normal bustling of the Aegis Keep stilled momentarily.
Lady Sinenth was not cowed. She could be imposing in her own way and had known
this man when he was a gangling youth.
"It is not a life because you choose for it not to be. Is their no room in your
heart for another?" Her voice was firm but quiet.
Dolph slumped, the anger leaving him, his posture speaking only of pain and
weariness. "I have no heart to give."
"Then give what you can. If there is to be no love for you, at least have
companionship. At least have someone who can share some of the burden. Who
understands and will not judge."
"Is there such a person?"
"You know there is."
"The Serole girl?"
Sensing her objective was near, Lady Sineth relaxed back into her former pose,
her voice regaining its drawling affectations. "She has a name. Yasena Serole.
She is a good choice, as I am certain your mother has mentioned numerous times.
Youngest child of old Uher so no concerns of inheritance issues. Very highly
educated. Almost Shervalian like honestly but with more common sense. She is not
one of these simpering ingenues who are in love with the idea of you. She will
not look for love from you."
Dolph was silent. He gazed down at his left hand, the fingers of his right
almost involuntarily brushing over a small ring he wore on the smallest finger.
He sat slowly, carefully.
"You are right. As always." he finally said, his voice subdued but still firm.
"You will make the arrangements?"
"If you wish it."
"I do."
"Consider it done. When shall I tell them you will call upon her?"
"Two days hence. I have preparations to see too."
"Of course. Will you speak your Lady Mother or shall I?"
"If you would, please? I am uncertain I can stomach her glee."
"She loves you Dolph."
"She loves Inalai more."
Sinenth shrugged. "True. Very well, I will see to everything. Traditional
courting or the more expedited version?"
"Traditional. I may not be able to give her my love but she will at least have
my respect."
Lady Sinenth nodded, her eyes filling with compassion. "I will call on them
tomorrow then."
"Thank you."
She took her leave and though he paid the necessary courtesies he barely
noticed, his sea of memories rising to claim him. He rose and walked to his
balcony, staring once more over the Inner Sea. He shifted his gaze higher as if
trying to see the Swamp that lay beyond and even further to the once glorious
Crystal Sea.
His eyes could not pierce the distance but his memories could and he spent the
remainder of the night in that position. Alone but for his memories.