As one who holds a great appreciation for Hallifaxian theatre, it is with much sorrow that I must rate this latest production one of five stars. While certainly full of drama, I found it predictable, rife with plot holes and, quite frankly, not very believable.

Firstly, these Hallifaxian characters, clearly intended as the heroes, are supposedly the long-suffering victims of the diabolical Magnagorans and their evils ways. And yet, it is the Hallifaxians who prey upon Magnagoran trust, not to mention a signed treaty, to launch an unprovoked surprise attack (albeit an ineffective one) on the heart of their city. The characterization is also all wrong. We are told Hallifax has many fine values, among them "Truth" and "Honour" and "Altruism", and that they are masters of logic and procedure, paperwork and bureaucracy, yet they violate the terms of their own treaty and launch an attack on an ally, thus destroying their credibility and casting doubt over any future agreements they might make. As an aside, for the treaty to be dissolved, notice needed to be handed personally to one member of the Council and mailed to the rest. I found it particularly reprehensible for the Hallifaxian characters to hand notice to the Council member -while- physically assaulting him, but I was left doubting their intelligence after they forgot to mail notice to the rest, effectively leaving the treaty in place for the duration of their attack.

The dialogue could also use some work, as the audience is given inspiring language such as "we would prefer to be friendless and without allies...", clearly intended to show Hallifax bravely standing alone against injustice. This conflicts directly with the actions on stage, where they launch a coordinated, planned strike standing shoulder to shoulder with the hordes of new allies they brought with them. The script writers should be more careful to coordinate with the directors so the audience is not left confused.

I believe we may have to do some editing to bring the story more in line with a reality that the audience will find believable. We should begin with the Magnagoran villain characters. I believe they were meant to be left reeling in the wake of the attacks and dramatic proclamations, their war machines ground to a halt as they kneel in the rubble, cursing the poor choices made during their foul un-lives. If we look closer, however, we see the Magnagorans rolling their eyes, pulling the daggers from their backs with exasperated expressions, and checking to see what wager they had placed in the "When Will Hallifax Betray Us?" pool. As a note, the wagering was rather boring, given that everyone in the city was betting on "After the Challenges, but before the Ascension".

We should also work on the characterization of the Hallifaxian protagonists. The script wants the audience to feel sorrow at their years of oppression, and a fierce pride as they rise to fight evil. However, based on the backstories, the previous installments in the story, and the past character development, I think the audience will find it more realistic if we admit the Hallifaxian characters are less the plucky resistance and more a collective of self-involved children prone to attention seeking and tantrum throwing when they do not get their way.

In closing, Hallifax, while it is true that everyone is the hero of their own story, I simply wish your story had better writing.

With impending regard,
Kailanna n'Kylbar
Warlady of Magnagora

Penned by my hand on the 23rd of Urlachmar, in the year 564 CE.