To the citizens of Gaudiguch, both past and present,

I have absolutely nothing to do with the Gaudiguch Gossip as it stands.
I am not involved in the production, nor the editing, nor the
publication of that newspaper or any other. I write no news articles,
nor do I know of any person that does. I do not even so much as
subscribe to a newspaper, be it the Gossip or some other. I have
completely left the field of journalism in disgust, and busy myself
instead writing hymns, sermons and plays. Although I have been asked to
take up the writing of the Star Post, I have refused, as I have no
desire to be demeaned and reviled as I was when I wrote for the Gossip.
As such, I would thank you all to leave my name out of any discussions,
accusations and what-have-you regarding the Gossip. While it cheers me
to know that the people of Gaudiguch think me such a brilliant genius as
to be able to mastermind whatever objectionable thing is being printed
in the Gossip nowdays, all without once being spotted or heard, in truth
I have nothing to do with it. Look elsewhere when placing blame; in this
matter, Iytha is not an author, not of the scheme nor of the news.

This goes double of course, for anyone and everyone using my name as a
pen name. I will be greatly displeased if I should ever discover who you
are.

With Bemusement,
Iytha, Former Editor of the Gossip, Former Grand Cipher, Etc. Etc. Etc.

Penned by my hand on the 15th of Kiani, in the year 320 CE.