Special Gala Edition of the Gaudiguch Gossip
Written by: Chixieya Ninchi, Editor in Grief
Date: Saturday, February 25th, 2017
Addressed to: Everyone
Welcome to a special edition of the Gaudiguch Gossip! Brought to each of you, free, by our sponsors for this important event!
I managed to snag myself a special invitation to the Gala at Trader Bob's mansion where several sealholders were present for the revelries. I just managed to snag a few choice interviews with the sadly small number of sealbearers, and here is what the Gossip has confirmed for our readers, new and old alike!
Falmiis has confirmed the existence of a new Hallifaxian superweapon they intend to use during the Ascension, nicknamed Unity. Reports are it is simply a reskinning of Project Guardian, which while devastating, can only seem to hit the broad side of a volcano and there is no cause for concern.
Aramel of Serenwilde has confirmed, in a surprise twist, her intent to enslave Hallifax as servants of Serenwilde. She has personally stated she wishes to see Sealholder Falmiis of Hallifax in chains, collared, and muzzled personally.
As well, Sealholder Veyils has chosen to reveal her secret love affair with both Sealholder Shango and Sealholder Falmiis. While this is interesting, we have also received confirmation from Sealholder Ixion that he is also in a secret love affair with Shango, establishing Shango as both the Basin's most eligible non-bachelor and quite the power grabber as well! We will leave it to the reader's imagination what else he may be attempting to grab.
In our sports news, oiled dwarven wrestling made an appearance once more, and as before, led to an upset by way of cheating and accusations of corruption. We did not get a chance to speak to any of the contestants, but the competition this year was fierce. In the end, Korgrim Gulnor won by default as Lairin Borruk was disqualified for cheating. I'm sure, however, that the judges were taking bribes, and should be commended for their dedication to their mercantile roots. And I hope they will consider these kind words and refund my bet on Tock Jawnston.
Finally, we come to our headline. Trader Bob and Bob Jr. were caught in a scandal when they were found attempting to drag their guests into their more scandalous interests. While we respect privacy here at the Gaudiguch Gossip and intend to keep the details quiet, one might say their proclivities might be ideal content for an expose in a black, leather-bound tome.
That's all for this one, folks. This has been Chixeiya Ninchi, bringing you the Gossip.
Penned by my hand on the 6th of Klangiary, in the year 467 CE.