Greetings and salutations to everyone who is reading this. Those of you who aren't...and you know who you are...well, you can just sod off.

First, we should like to congratulate the (briefly) conquering, (self-proclaimed) new king of Celest, Ookydook. Or whatever. We're a huge fan of sneaking in to places we aren't wanted, wiping boogers on the furniture, claiming absolute victory, then scurrying off before there can be any retaliation. Well done.

As for buying Gaudiguch, we happily invite you to make us an offer. We're always open to a good bribing. We ran our election on a campaign of promised corruption, and it's about time we made good on it.

That said, we do have one request, and this goes out to everyone, not just just Ungabunga here. Could you all please get together and decide who is supposed to own us? One minute we're Glomdoring's puppet. Then we're allegedly owned by Magnagora. Now it's Celest? It's very hard to keep track of who our shadowy masters are, so, again, please just decide already. We can't keep our resume up to date when it constantly changing like this.

Ixchilgal Mes'ard
Herald of Mu
Their Devil
Trophy Husband
Sultan
Minister of Power
Minister of Sloth
Minister of Corruption
Minister of Self Appointed Ministries
High Ritualist (Not that kind of high)
High Ritualist (That kind of high)
Minister of Self Indulgent Titles
Very Confused About Who He's Supposed To Be Taking Orders From Now

Penned by my hand on the 14th of Dioni, in the year 692 CE.