Greetings once more, oh glorious Heathern High King!

We regret to inform you that your application to take ownership of Gaudiguch must be rejected. While you did come up with a good, and dare we say, unique offer of turning us all into seals, we simply don't see how that is practical. We don't live anywhere near the ocean, and the average sea critter doesn't fare so well in the lava pools. We appreciate the effort you went through to come up with something more exciting than mere gold in an attempt to buy us, but another offer was made which is difficult for us to refuse.

While no formal agreements were actually made, implications were quite clear. "Here's a short true favour, and you belong to the Wyrd." While we highly approve of your grand standing, we must note that you don't have quite the clout that Lord Manteekan does. So, respectfully, we're going to have to side with Him on this. At least until someone bigger wakes up for us to hide behind.

As for your new kingdom...look. We've all done things at, and to the Pool that we aren't proud of. You get a little booze in you, the party gets wild, things happen. We get it. Don't worry, they clean that thing pretty regularly. But it's enormously disrespectful to speak of such antics like this. You can't expect your subjects to respect you if you don't at least pretend to respect them back. Talking about washing your bits in the public well doesn't inspire awe or fear. Mostly just...the uncomfortable need to make sure you boil your tea really well before drinking it.

Finally, we aren't certain what kind of relationship you have with the Warlord that you can get him to spread his Taint, but don't let Sapphira find out. She never struck as the "sharing is caring" type.

Ixchilgal Mes'ard
Herald of Mu
Their Devil
Trophy Husband
Sultan
Minister of Power
High Ritualist (Not that kind of high)
High Ritualist (That kind of high)
A Sad Day When We Have To Give Lessons On Respect And Manners

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Avechary, in the year 692 CE.