She is a feathered trill and stands at a height of roughly five feet. She has ethereal amber eyes and a long wave of light blue hair, most likely coming from a human parent. Her wings are still maturing, but seem to glow every so slightly with their golden color.





Just giving it a go. My personal style isn't always preferred. Tried to not be too horribly verbose. Could do more if you'd like to give more guidelines and specifics about how you view your character. I didn't bothere with checking for grammatic errors, so sorry.

Hello new best friend

My two cents!

Edit: Wait, we can be verbose?

-switches desc-

Karel is plain, that's what sets him apart. Until something happens that will make him more distinct, he will continue to be so.

Nicholo was too!
And then he reincarnated into a Human and had a healing elixir explode in his face while making kegs for Ishant, sinking into his skin and hair. It mixed with the unstable Evolution of his new human genes and latent Aslaran heritage causing his eyes to dilate and become more feral along with my other qualities. The healing elixir made his hair red, too! Plus after that he became more serious and eloquent, loyalty and goal-oriented. He was a Celestian snuggler before...

Left for a while, char got deleted, decided to come back again, made the same race/class too (Never got to properly explore the RP surrounding it all).



Critique?

Also, I'm sure there was a thread somewhere concerning the descriptions of illithoids, however I can't find it. A link would be nice.

I hope that helps- I just made it a bit more readable and switched out the 'V'.

I will always be willing to make a description for someone...provided they can tell me some important details! Something you should include in your descriptions at all times, barring unique traits interfering-

1. Hight ESTIMATE. Not exact.
2. Skinny, normal, or downright exeryteish?
3. Skin colour
3. Sentence about legs/feet
4. Sentence about arms/hands
5. Musculature.
6. Hair or similar analogue
7. The face. This should be the focus and crux of your description
8. Any unique properties(They should be interspersed with the related areas.)

I'll put mine up for a bit of refinement, if anyone doesn't mind.

He is an ordinary human and stands at approximately six feet in height, his pale white skin stretched over his muscular, lithe frame. Stone gray eyes glare out at the world around him, carefully observing his surroundings. Two braids of ill-kempt, sable coloured hair are positioned strategically on both sides of his face and the rest of his hair falls somewhat haphazardly to his shoulders in the back. A large, full beard of the same colour adorns his face, hanging down to about the middle of his chest. Around his chin, two braids are made from the coarse and blood-stained hair, which perch carefully atop the rest of his beard.

So how's my description? Do I use too many commas? I do rather enjoy commas. Anything else I need to fix?

She is a ferocious undead loboshigaru and is covered in luxurious, long, pure white fur that shimmers in the light. It is well-kept and looks so soft that you have an urge to reach out and touch its silky surface. A quick glance at her face tells you this would not be a good idea, for though she is beautiful, her almond-shaped green eyes flicker with coldness and malice and her wedge-shaped ears swivel constantly, listening to everything. An old silver scar mars the right side of her long, slender muzzle, slashing vertically through her whiskers and leaving her lip curled slightly upward, revealing a sharp canine tooth. You have a feeling other scars might exist underneath her long, beautiful coat, for she stands as one who has faced many dangers - wary and alert, never relaxed. Her body is lean and rangy, rather than muscular, suggesting quickness and agility but also leaving her rather wanting as curves go. Her bosom is nothing extraordinary, nor her figure, but a beautiful face and shining pelt still make her looks above average.

All the parts you should remove are striked through. There are two things you should never do in a description:

1. Opinions. Descriptions aren't meant to have biased words like "beautiful" or conjecture like "might". They're for facts. Someone who hates loboshigaru may see you as not beautiful - your description would contradict this
2. Actions. Descriptions are physical - they do not reveal the mindset of either the viewer or the person being described. Putting things like "You have an urge" or "You have a feeling" or "You look at this" is bad form in a description. Here's what you would look like fixed up:

Fixed. Remember, trill don't have hair.

Humans have hair, humans cross-breed with everything that moves. So, while no pure Trill would have hair, one with some human family might.

Trill do not have hair no matter what. This is completely non-negotiable. It states that in HELP TRILL "No trill grows hair on their head". The term "no trill" here implies that trill ABSOLUTELY do not have any hair, whatsoever, rather than just "full blooded trill", which it in no way implies is the only trill covered by this "no trill" term. For example, nobody would call a mugwump that had obvious human traits anything other than a "mugwump". A trill that is partially human is still a "trill". Therefore, "no trill" covers every and all trill you can imagine, whether full-blooded or half-bred. Any trill that does have hair is in fact a human or other applicable race with wings, not a trill with hair.

Of course, there is going to eventually be someone in this thread that will get offended that I say their precious little oh-so-special Mary Sue trill character cannot have perfect, long, luxurious locks of flowing hair in place of those mean old ugly and smelly feathers, and start an enormous argument about it and/or insult me because I am right. No amount of arguing changes the fact that trill do not, cannot, and will not have natually-growing, non-artificial hair in any shape, way, or form. There are absolutely no exceptions to this, period, and any who does so is not a trill at all, but rather a human with trill wings (which is actually possible) and should be treated and imagined as such in roleplay and gameplay.

This is just personal conjecture, but I think the people that make trills with hair are just afraid that if they do it the right way (trills with feathers on their head) they will look ugly. There is nothing wrong at all with having feathers for hair. You are not going to look like a plucked chicken. Just imagine very soft, long, flexible feathers flowing down your back or something. Not necessarily growing down your back, but hanging down it being very long and soft.

It is not a hard concept to visualize, and not only does it stay true to the race's appearance as described by the builders who put their sweat and blood and at the very least hard work into this game, it also is a lot better than hair when you think about it. It does not make sense at all for trill to have hair. Not only do they not have hair, if your head feathers were replaced by hair, what about your wing feathers? They would be hair too, meaning you would have hair in place of feathers on your wings. You cannot have half and half. Either you have hair instead of feathers, or you have feathers instead of hair. You cannot have both. It does not make sense.

He is an ordinary human and boasts a robust figure: tall and sinewy, his muscles rippling beneath pale skin. Thick sable hair falls haphazardly around his shoulders and down his back, the locks unkempt save for two thick braids that frame his face and rest upon his chest. A full beard of the same dark colour hangs to the middle of his chest, two thinner braids spun from this coarse hair resting against his chin atop his beard. In the centre of this fierce display are eyes of a cold granite hue, watchful and untrusting.

I tried. I'm not too happy with it, but I tried to keep the wording simpler to match the rough warrior image.


First, don't include how the viewer is supposed to feel in your description. People who care about RP consider that godmoding, though I have seen worse cases. Especially avoid words like "beautiful," and instead describe what you think a person's perception of beauty is. And, lately, neither breasts nor genitalia should not appear in any description (but like I said, I've seen much, much worse!).

That said, here's my take:

She is a ferocious undead loboshigaru and carries herself with predatory grace, ever vigilant. Wedge-shaped ears swivel constantly, and emerald eyes brimming with cruelty and malice gaze carefully about her surroundings. Long, white fur covers her body in a luxurious coat, marred by a single scar that runs vertically along the right side of her slender muzzle, the lip caught in a perpetual snarl and revealing fangs. She cuts a slender figure, lanky as opposed to muscular in physique, yet still bears subtle, feminine curves.

EDIT: I totally got ninja'd.

Yes, I read you lovely little rant before you edited. It's a lovely little thing called creative liberties, you see cross-bred all the time, it's in the Dracnari and merian helps that brings up that the are denoted as dracnari by the ability to breathe fire and merian by the ability to breathe underwater, then would not Trill be denoted by the ability to fly with their wings? (Since mechanically speaking, a trill-like human would not be able to fly.) Until Estarra starts shrubbing every trill with hair, your little rage is invalid.

Snarkiness aside, there is precedent for trill with hair. Crossbreeding is one way of justifying, so's a scalp transplant. I'm sure a clever player could come up with all sorts of ways to give a Trill character normal hair. Further, there are always exceptions to every rule, and the "No Trill grows hair" rule is no exception. So yes, while the help file does state that "No Trill grows hair on their head", I would say that there's a way around it. Now, if everyone and their mom started making Trill characters with hair instead of feathers, we might have a problem, but that doesn't seem to be the case and I don't see the problem with a little bit of creative liberty.

I know of at least two players (my Trill character actually does stick to canon Trill description, but that's beside the point) who were fantastic roleplayers that had very good reasons for hair on their heads instead of feathers. However, Trill isn't just denoted as flying with their wings, otherwise Faethings would be considered Trill too!

Flying without looking like a butterfly then?

Faelings fly not like Butterflies, or Birds, but like Dragonflies.


So very fast...