QUOTE (Aerotan)
In light of the post a few guys back, I've made a new set of descriptions for an alt of mine.
Caramel can range from very blond to fairly dark in color, sort of like the difference between an oak plank and a milk chocolate candy bar. I suppose "dark brown" clears that up for the observer, but in my mind I see caramel as being very blond, so my mental picture is at odds with what I think you're trying to achieve. I'm just putting that out there.
Question: Are the ears short, or long? Pointy or rounded? Straight or floppy? I get the impression that they're long, straight and pointy. Fill in something appropriate (if you want to change that).
Also, I think you should include (or exclude) the length of the ears in (or from) his height, and not try to specify height with (or without) the ears splayed. This is completely up to you, but I think it's more awkward than it's worth.
(naked)
He is a ferocious loboshigaru and has a long, silky coat of dark brown fur. A large black stripe runs the length of his back and fluffy tail; the tail is caramel brown with a white tip. The brown fur gives way to a downy white undercoat toward his front. Caramel-coloured fur frames his hazel brown eyes and his muzzle rather well. His snout is narrow, and is mostly covered in short, brown fur, save for a white stripe leading from his wet nose to between his eyes. {His ears are long and pointy?}. Overall, he is slighter of stature than an average loboshigaru, standing six feet, three inches tall.
Problem with the below: You describe him as being a smaller-than-average loboshigaru, then go on to say that the ill-fitting armor "suggests" he has a smaller-than-average frame. That's a bit redundant (you already flat-out stated it), so I think that either that part should go altogether, or be changed entirely (I've simply removed it).
(armour @ no helm)
He is a ferocious loboshigaru and has downy white fur on what can be seen of his arms and legs. His fluffy tail is caramel brown in colour, with a black stripe and a white tip. Caramel-coloured fur frames his hazel brown eyes and his muzzle rather well. His snout is narrow, and is mostly covered in short, brown fur, save for a white stripe leading from his wet nose to between his eyes. {His ears are long and pointy?}. Overall, he is slighter of stature than an average loboshigaru, standing six feet, three inches tall. His armour seems an ill fit for him, with the various plates clumped rather closer than is normal and long tufts of fur protruding from the gaps.
(fully equipped)
He is a ferocious loboshigaru and has downy white fur on what can be seen of his arms and legs. His fluffy tail is caramel brown in colour, with a black stripe and a white tip. The faceplate on his helm obscures all but his hazel brown eyes, a caramel-coloured snout with a white stripe, and a few tufts of white fur poking out under the rim of the helm. {Do the ears protrude from the helm?) Overall, he is slighter of stature than an average loboshigaru, standing six feet, three inches tall. His armour seems an ill fit for him, with the various plates clumped rather closer than is normal and long tufts of fur protruding from the gaps.
Quite frankly, anthropomorphic character descriptions (not just yours) boggle the crap out of my brain. There are different colors every which way, stripes and spots, constant repetitions of "fur" and "hair," textures, undercoats, unusual body parts, peculiar ways of describing appearance and height... all I can say is: I've done my best to fancy these up for you, though I'm not 100% happy with the results. As usual, take or leave any changes as you see fit.
QUOTE (Jayr @ May 30 2010, 02:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
...hell i just might make her an overweight ebonguard O_O or maybe a body builder XD.
Overweight's been done.
I miss Exeryte.
Course, just cause someone's been overweight is no reason not to be if you want. There's not just one fat person in the world, after all.
QUOTE (Lillie @ Jun 7 2010, 12:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wonder what it is about the Ebonguard that encourages obesity?
Living inside a giant worm makes folks hungry?
QUOTE (Noola @ Jun 7 2010, 12:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Living inside a giant worm makes folks hungry?
Emulate the glory of the Wyrdling!
*gorge on 500 packages of poultry*
Kio's been asleep for decadessssssss. Upon his arrival, his form has changed to accommodate those inner truths he's discovered. However, I've always had a bad habit of involving the onlooker a bit too much, so any suggestions on how to curb this (if I've done it again) would be the most helpful. Other than that, mild criticisms are always welcome 
He is a graceful Elfen and emanates a strange air of unrest. Standing slightly under six feet, his elegant form moves with immense polish, each subtle gesture diligent and purposeful. It is obvious this creature values his physical nature, an observation made from his athletic profile. His delicate skin seems to lack the kiss of the sun, yet holds its ivory color with a healthy vigor. Carved into the flesh of the back of both hands is a simple depiction of a flower with six thin petals, an image created by three surgical lines intersecting at a midpoint, the scar of which has been dyed black by rubbing coal in the wound during the proliferative phase. Beginning from the center of both scars, swirling glyphs have been etched to form an intricate pattern which intertwines and wraps itself up the arms, disappearing into whatever clothing he is wearing. Silken hair resembling the deep crimson of half-dried blood shimmers in the available light. Parted down the middle, this sea of crimson flows down the left side of his face, concealing all features from any onlookers. In the front, this thick silk ends in jagged edges halfway down his chest, but extends to the lower back on the reverse. The hair on the right side of this part, however, has been pulled into a fox-tail, held high in place on the crown of his head by two silver pins eight inches in length and sharpened on either side. The painful images on his arms emerge again at the base of his neck and continue onto the fair field of his face, creating a swirl around an eye of misty gray that follows the eyebrow and ends at the peak of the nose. On his cheek, three four-inch silver pins have been pierced through the flesh, one on the vertical axis with the other two placed on the diagonal, forming the same image depicted on his hands. Though in constant danger of the inner-most diagonal pin plunging into his eye, he looks onward with no fear.
(**a note on the flower depictions: I'm attempting to emulate the look of the flowers found on Orihime's (Bleach) hairclips. The goal is to create an image very similar to it in the minds of someone who's never seen it, hence the emphasis. Any help in achieving this look would be awesome!)
He is a graceful Elfen and emanates a strange air of unrest. Standing slightly under six feet, his elegant form moves with immense polish, each subtle gesture diligent and purposeful. It is obvious this creature values his physical nature, an observation made from his athletic profile. His delicate skin seems to lack the kiss of the sun, yet holds its ivory color with a healthy vigor. Carved into the flesh of the back of both hands is a simple depiction of a flower with six thin petals, an image created by three surgical lines intersecting at a midpoint, the scar of which has been dyed black by rubbing coal in the wound during the proliferative phase. Beginning from the center of both scars, swirling glyphs have been etched to form an intricate pattern which intertwines and wraps itself up the arms, disappearing into whatever clothing he is wearing. Silken hair resembling the deep crimson of half-dried blood shimmers in the available light. Parted down the middle, this sea of crimson flows down the left side of his face, concealing all features from any onlookers. In the front, this thick silk ends in jagged edges halfway down his chest, but extends to the lower back on the reverse. The hair on the right side of this part, however, has been pulled into a fox-tail, held high in place on the crown of his head by two silver pins eight inches in length and sharpened on either side. The painful images on his arms emerge again at the base of his neck and continue onto the fair field of his face, creating a swirl around an eye of misty gray that follows the eyebrow and ends at the peak of the nose. On his cheek, three four-inch silver pins have been pierced through the flesh, one on the vertical axis with the other two placed on the diagonal, forming the same image depicted on his hands. Though in constant danger of the inner-most diagonal pin plunging into his eye, he looks onward with no fear.
(**a note on the flower depictions: I'm attempting to emulate the look of the flowers found on Orihime's (Bleach) hairclips. The goal is to create an image very similar to it in the minds of someone who's never seen it, hence the emphasis. Any help in achieving this look would be awesome!)
