I'm slowly transitioning Aicuthi's description to be more human.
She is a crystalline prismatic lucidian and stands at a modest stature, her slight opaque figure a murky white. Beneath soft flesh minute flecks of gold absorb the available light; incandescent motes churn gently within her form, wrought in clouded glass. Arching from her crown, fragmented strands of beryl fall in long brittle waves. Her amber eyes thrum with quiet sentience, latticed veins protruding from the contours of a sculpted face. The expression she exudes is spirited, and distinctly organic. She is wearing a dark brown leather satchel, a twining swans ring, a crystal gold ring, and silken robes of night-blue and dark golden hues.
He is a fiendish archlich brood viscanti and stands at approximately six feet in height. Scaly, crimson skin is stretched taut over a limber and muscular frame, rigid discipline of the body evident in both his posture and precision in movement. Stony grey eyes stare imperiously, taking in his surroundings with an almost oppressive sense of attentiveness. Two horns, heavily ridged and nicked from the hardships of what would appear to be a life of violence, rise from his temples in a majestic display before curling over themselves and ending in wicked points parallel to razor-sharp cheekbones. His head has been entirely shaved save for two segments of long, braided sable hair, anchored at the base of his skull and falling even with his shoulder blades. A short, well-trimmed beard peppered with deep mahogany and rust tones adorns his face, outlining his well-defined features.
Okay, so it's nearly 2am. I will probably pick this apart tomorrow, but here you go.
Very awesome.
Thank you!
All right, so I readily admit I suck at descriptions. Is anyone willing to take a crack at this one: He is a fierce illuminated dracnari and stands at a few inches past six feet in height. Reptilian scales of a pale white hue cover his body, while blackened bands of scales appear at regular intervals across his back, stretching around to his sides, and almost touching on his front. Elongated facial features give him a truly draconic and almost frightening appearance. His reptilian jaw is primarily lined with large, carnivorous teeth, each jagged and menacing in appearance. Yellowed eyes with slitted pupils are set deeply into a high ridged-brow, which is adorned by small bone-like protrusions and knots. Upon the back of his head, five separate horns jut forth, stretching out behind him as they twist upon themselves like corkscrews. A long, irregularly spiked tail sprouts from his hindquarters, swaying in a rhythmic pattern behind him.
If it helps any, I was trying to go for a sort of Sarnak (from Everquest) appearance. However, I'm noticing that my height is way off. Please feel free to make him a foot taller!
If you are unawares, maybe these pictures will help a bit:
Unknown2010-07-02 19:19:32
Finished Aeral's makeover.
Went from: She is a noble imperial merian and appears to be rather withdrawn most of the time. Her ciy blue skinn offsets the starkness of her shoulder length navy blue hair, and is accompanied by turquoise blue eyes that constantly have black rings around them from a total lack of sleep. She is rather tall for her race and gender, at approximately 6'2", and also muscular. She leans towards the chubby side but overall is well toned. She holds herself proudly.
To: She is a female imperial merian and holds herself proudly. As she stands here, she vibrates slightly, as if controlling the urge to bounce up and down. Her icy blue scales are pale and tinted with peach, a sharp contrast to her shoulder-length midnight hair, both tributes to her human heritage. Her nose defines her as merian, however, with the tiny scales covering the bottom, and stretching out to the gills along her neck, just below full lips that reveal sharp, wolflike teeth, an indication of descent from loboshigaru. Her clear turquoise eyes are constantly sparkling with mischief, but also darting around warily. She is tall for her race and gender, towering at approximately 6'5", and leans toward the chubby side, but is overall well toned. Rounded breasts indicate her just emerging from youth and into full adulthood, as do the arrangements of her scales. Under her clothing you can see the patterns of large, hexagonal shaped scales on her front and back torso, gradually tapering in size at her neck and waist. Her face, hands and feet feature tiny scales, so smooth that they appear like the skin of a human, while her arms and legs have medium sized diamond shapes, growing small at joints and large mid-limb. Various tiny scars decorate her body, along with three dominant marks across her neck, clean and smooth from the bite of a blade, showing her vulnerability during combat. She stands tall as a strong individual.
yeah, I may have overdone the makeover, but it was fun!
She is a female imperial merian and holds herself proudly. As she stands here, she vibrates slightly, as if controlling the urge to bounce up and down. Her icy blue scales are pale and tinted with peach, a sharp contrast to her shoulder-length midnight hair, both tributes to her human heritage. Her nose defines her as merian, however, with the tiny scales covering the bottom, and stretching out to the gills along her neck, just below full lips that reveal sharp, wolflike teeth, an indication of descent from loboshigaru. Her clear turquoise eyes are constantly sparkling with mischief, but also darting around warily. She is tall for her race and gender, towering at approximately 6'5", and leans toward the chubby side, but is overall well toned. Rounded breasts indicate her just emerging from youth and into full adulthood, as do the arrangements of her scales. Under her clothing you can see the patterns of large, hexagonal shaped scales on her front and back torso, gradually tapering in size at her neck and waist. Her face, hands and feet feature tiny scales, so smooth that they appear like the skin of a human, while her arms and legs have medium sized diamond shapes, growing small at joints and large mid-limb. Various tiny scars decorate her body, along with three dominant marks across her neck, clean and smooth from the bite of a blade, showing her vulnerability during combat. She stands tall as a strong individual.
Yes! And today when I got Meleris angry at me he referred to me as the "black haired, peach skin tinted girl". Heh. I'm thinking of reincarnating to something more tanky.
Daraius2010-07-03 04:56:06
Daraius is about to undergo a long-contemplated age-reassignment procedure. I wanted to do it a while ago, but the stars didn't align for it to make sense RP-wise so the youngest he can get is 16 now. I made changes to the old description last time I asked for help, and adapted the new one from that, so hopefully I followed all the rules. Any tips on the new look would be appreciated.
Old Daraius:
QUOTE
He is a ferocious loboshigaru and carries himself with unwavering balance and poise. His physique is solid and stocky, and at just under six feet in height, fairly small for his race. His coarse, bristly fur, which covers his frame from snout to tail, is meticulously well groomed and orderly, its tan and cream coloring similar to that of a dingo. Two floppy-tipped triangular ears sit atop his head. His is a face to which a smile does not seem to come easily, and his deep brown eyes peer from a placid brow down the length of his canine muzzle. He maintains a rigid posture and holds his bushy, white-tipped tail politely still.
New Young Daraius:
QUOTE
He is a ferocious loboshigaru and bears the soft features and awkward proportions of youth. His limbs are long and lanky, and his frame is quite small, but his hands and feet are overlarge, like those of a puppy who has not quite finished growing. His coarse fur, which covers his body from snout to tail, is bristly and unruly, its tan and cream coloring reminiscent of a dingo. Two floppy-tipped triangular ears sit atop his head, swiveling occasionally towards errant sounds. His face regularly breaks into an easy canine smile, and his brown eyes are bright with vitality. His bushy, white-tipped tail sways incessantly to a slow, casual rhythm.
EDIT: Although he couldn't be any less ferocious. I guess there's no way around that 'ferocious loboshigaru' part?
Daraius is about to undergo a long-contemplated age-reassignment procedure. I wanted to do it a while ago, but the stars didn't align for it to make sense RP-wise so the youngest he can get is 16 now. I made changes to the old description last time I asked for help, and adapted the new one from that, so hopefully I followed all the rules. Any tips on the new look would be appreciated.
Old Daraius:
New Young Daraius:
EDIT: Although he couldn't be any less ferocious. I guess there's no way around that 'ferocious loboshigaru' part?
Could rearrange the order so it transitions to his toothy grin first. Implies the only ferocious thing about him is his canine smile.
Unknown2010-07-06 03:37:36
Anyone have any pointers for merians? So far I have her set to look like this.
She is a noble imperial merian and is just around five feet and a few inches tall. Limbs wiry and thin, she's a rather solemn creature. As is normal for merian she is covered in scales, ivory white and shining from good care. Her mixed blood has given her sleek, straight black hair that cascades in a wave down her head to her mid-back. Her long, swanlike neck supports a heart-shaped face with pointed, serrated ears and aquatic amethyst eyes. She has pronounced gill slits and a series of lobed dorsal fins barely hidden by her hair. Each of her fingers ends in a delicate ebon claw. Straight white teeth show behind a wide polite smile.
Anyone have any pointers for merians? So far I have her set to look like this.
She is a noble imperial merian and is just around five feet and a few inches tall. Limbs wiry and thin, she's a rather solemn creature. As is normal for merian she is covered in scales, ivory white and shining from good care. Her mixed blood has given her sleek, straight black hair that cascades in a wave down her head to her mid-back. Her long, swanlike neck supports a heart-shaped face with pointed, serrated ears and aquatic amethyst eyes. She has pronounced gill slits and a series of lobed dorsal fins barely hidden by her hair. Each of her fingers ends in a delicate ebon claw. Straight white teeth show behind a wide polite smile.
But that just doesn't seem right to me.
Hrm.
I could do one of those "midsentence"*I post the description*"OMG WHAT THE NIL...?"
I love writing those.
Jack2010-07-07 18:24:44
He is a sinuous illithoid and is extremely diminutive in stature, barely four feet tall with a perpetually hunched spine and an unpleasant, furtive air, as if coiled to flee at any provocation. Tarry, blood-flecked eyes gaze with dull interest from a face whose chief features are slitted, serpentine nostrils and a gaping, unhinged jaw replete with razor-thin fangs, which jut at funhouse angles from muddy pink-tinged gums. Sinuous, vivid crimson veins throb visibly and sickeningly beneath the surface of his high, domed forehead, distorting his purple, bruise-hued flesh slightly with a thrumming psionic aura. The emaciation that has ravaged his form is so grossly advanced that each individual bone in his multitudinous rack of ribs is clearly visible, and his stick-thin legs tremble spastically, threatening to spill out from under him at any moment. The overall impression he induces is that of a cornered insect.
He is a sinuous illithoid and is extremely diminutive in stature, barely four feet tall with a perpetually hunched spine and an unpleasant, furtive air, as if coiled to flee at any provocation. Tarry, blood-flecked eyes gaze with dull interest from a face whose chief features are slitted, serpentine nostrils and a gaping, unhinged jaw replete with razor-thin fangs, which jut at funhouse angles from muddy pink-tinged gums. Sinuous, vivid crimson veins throb visibly and sickeningly beneath the surface of his high, domed forehead, distorting his purple, bruise-hued flesh slightly with a thrumming psionic aura. The emaciation that has ravaged his form is so grossly advanced that each individual bone in his multitudinous rack of ribs is clearly visible, and his stick-thin legs tremble spastically, threatening to spill out from under him at any moment. The overall impression he induces is that of a cornered insect.
Critique me up, buttercup.
He is a sinuous illithoid and barely four feet tall, his diminutive stature made more pronounced by his perpetually hunched posture. Surrounded by an unpleasant, furtive air, he appears coiled to flee at any provocation. Tarry, blood-flecked eyes gaze with a vacant interest from within a face whose chief features are slitted, serpentine nostrils and a gaping, unhinged jaw replete with razor-thin fangs juxtaposed at funhouse angles and anchored in muddy, pink-tinged gums. Pronounced veins of a vivid crimson pigmentation pulse visibly with a sickening throb beneath the surface of his high, domed forehead, further distorting his purpled bruise-hued flesh that thrums with a nearly tangible psionic aura. The emaciation that has ravaged his form is so grossly advanced that each individual bone in his starkly outlined ribs stands out from the flesh in a horrifyingly transparent display while his stick-thin legs tremble with jerky, spastic movements that threaten to send him sprawling at any moment. Appearing nothing so much as a cornered insect, he seethes with intensely raw desperation.
Just how I would put it together, but it's a sound desc as is, really.
Kaia2010-07-07 21:22:28
He is a sinuous illithoid and barely four feet tall, his diminutive stature made more pronounced by his perpetually hunched posture. Surrounded by an unpleasant, furtive air, he appears coiled to flee at any provocation. Tarry, blood-flecked eyes gaze with a vacant interest from within a face whose chief features are slitted, serpentine nostrils and a gaping, unhinged jaw replete with razor-thin fangs juxtaposed at funhouse angles and anchored in muddy, pink-tinged gums. Pronounced veins of a vivid crimson pigmentation pulse visibly with a sickening throb beneath the surface of his high, domed forehead, further distorting his purpled, bruise-hued flesh and drawing attention to the thrumming of his nearly tangible psionic aura. The emaciation that has ravaged his form is so grossly advanced that each individual bone in his starkly outlined ribcage stands out from the flesh in a horrifyingly transparent display while his stick-thin legs tremble with jerky, spastic movements that threaten to send him sprawling at any moment. Appearing nothing so much as a cornered insect, he seethes with intensely raw desperation.
Adjusted slightly to humor my obsessive tendencies.
Unknown2010-07-07 22:12:34
He is a fierce dracnari and is extremely lithe and snakelike in form: disproportionately long limbs end in bone-white claws mottled with azure stains, coupling with a trunk that from snout-tip to tail-tip is a single seamless strand. Every exposed scale of his skin has been incorporated into an intricate mosaic of flesh and ink, intricate patterns of emerald and azure meshing into endless illusionary permutations of image and word. His eyes are as snakelike as his form, off-gold lenses staring unbrokenly through the blinking of nictitating membranes. Below them is a toothy grin like rigor mortis, while above two pair of malformed horns twist together into an oddly accurate facsimile of canine ears.
Thoughts and Critiques (aside from the somewhat fudged words)?
I'm slowly transitioning Aicuthi's description to be more human.
She is a crystalline prismatic lucidian and stands at a modest stature, her slight opaque figure a murky white. Beneath soft flesh minute flecks of gold absorb the available light; incandescent motes churn gently within her form, wrought in clouded glass. Arching from her crown, fragmented strands of beryl fall in long brittle waves. Her amber eyes thrum with quiet sentience, latticed veins protruding from the contours of a sculpted face. The expression she exudes is spirited, and distinctly organic. She is wearing a dark brown leather satchel, a twining swans ring, a crystal gold ring, and silken robes of night-blue and dark golden hues.
Some parts seem a bit too wordy. Any suggestions?
She is a crystalline prismatic lucidian and appears a smooth, milky white in colour, her figure only slightly opaque. Beneath delicate flesh, minute flecks of gold absorb the available light - the indandescent motes of colour churning gently within her form as though wrought in clouded glass. Arching from her crown, brittle waves of fragmented beryl strands fall in sharply precise lines to accentuate the contours of her sculpted face. Her amber eyes thrum with quiet sentience, set within a visage latticed with a complex network of tiny veins and pinpricks of luminescence. A surprisingly mobile mouth gives evidence of a spirited and distinctly organic nature.
Aicuthi2010-07-08 05:38:28
QUOTE
She is a crystalline prismatic lucidian and appears a smooth, milky white in colour, her figure only slightly opaque. Beneath delicate flesh, minute flecks of gold absorb the available light - the indandescent motes of colour churning gently within her form as though wrought in clouded glass. Arching from her crown, brittle waves of fragmented beryl strands fall in sharply precise lines to accentuate the contours of her sculpted face. Her amber eyes thrum with quiet sentience, set within a visage latticed with a complex network of tiny veins and pinpricks of luminescence. A surprisingly mobile mouth gives evidence of a spirited and distinctly organic nature.
Thank you so much. I'll definitely prune some of my old description and use this in it.
EDIT:
Also my Magnagoran needs a description. She needs some sufficient verbal pimpage. Bring it.
Kaia2010-07-08 05:49:41
oops. incandescence.
Unknown2010-07-09 06:31:39
so I wrote this description in the middle of the night and I have never really been good at writing descriptions to begin with. I personally dont like it and feel things are missing. is anyone willing to mess around with it and spice it up.
QUOTE
stands just a little over six feet tall. His dark lavender skin is stretched slightly by his muscular build. His long yellow slightly curved horns pierce the sky expanding outward from his forehead. The roots of the horn are covered by his dark long dread-locked hair that fall to about shoulder length. His squinted ash gray colored eyes lie directly beneath his yellow horns. His recentlly shaved face is starting to grow a rough stubble
Edit: my character is a male viscanti by the way.
Aomahou2010-07-12 08:25:50
A day of firsts. First post regarding my first character and asking about my first description. Did I miss anything? Anything seem out of place? Any help or critique would certainly be appreciated. I'm not very good at these things.
"He is a noble merian and has a lanky frame who stands at a height of only five feet. His scales shimmer vibrantly in alternating hues of royal purple and regalia. The hue lightens to a violet along his fins, which are accented with streaks of aquamarine. Deepset eyes of ice blue crown a pair of high-boned cheeks. His short, curved nose sits atop a pair of bluish lips, which curl into a smile that reveals a sharp row of pearly whites. His scaled head is bare save for a single dorsal fin that runs from the crown all the way down to the lower back. Where that fin ends, a vibrant crowntail begins as its frilled edges of aquamarine hang low behind his ankles. Another pair of violet fins halfmoon along the entire underside of each arm."
ongaku2010-07-12 10:20:38
I love it, but I'm biased. Yay, I'm so glad you finally joined Lusternia!
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Yay, I'm so glad you finally joined Lusternia!
