Canine like snout? What are you, a puppy or a kitty?

Short answer: no.

I tend to think anything you put in your description is something you want other characters to notice. If you don't want people to go out of their way imagining your character's furry boobs, don't go out of your way to describe them. I think most imaginations will supply boobs on females one way or another.

If you do describe them, don't call them mounds. That's one step removed from lady lumps.

Fair enough. I'm satisfied without describing them... I don't like my descriptions to be like OHHAI I HAVE BREASTS.



Aeral is an aslaran, but she has a few slight canine features from her father, being the snout... which is essentially just an elongated aslaran/cat nose.

You know, I could say something about that, but it would fall into the 'do trill have hair' and 'ten foot tall non Demigod faelings' category and just leave it.

But know that you're a traitor to your race for adopting doggy characteristics, you race traitor you.

I'm with you on this. It's kind of a war between not wanting to actually mention them yet it's such an obvious part of most female characters that it's hard not to. What I always do is just briefly comment on the body type/shape and then leave all outright mentions of her chest for custom emotes. Sort of like how I state Emilynn's body to be willowy but have an aliased emote where she crosses her arms over her flat chest. /ramble

I dunno, I think it's really just a personal taste thing. I like the word Snout better than Maw, also. It just flows better within the description. If that one sentence about the tail is making you second glance, try to exchange the word puff with something else, like tuft, and see if it looks better. To be honest, it looks great to me in either case.

Really, it shows enough of the personality of the character without being overdone and that's something I enjoy reading in descriptions.

-weep- Actually, having literally drawn out Aeral on a piece of paper... the canine snout doesn't work absolutely AT ALL on her. She doesn't look right. So I think I will be editing that.

And, here's the edit:

She is a regal aslaran demigoddess and has a proud yet mischevious air about her. Standing at approximately 6'11", she is a fine feline specimen. Her mid-length midnight fur is decorated with flecks of blue, while an attractive mane of pure onyx cascades down, stopping mid-back, her bangs tucked up and pinned. Large ears crest the top of her head, built for keen hearing as opposed to overall beauty. Set just below violet eyes streaked with ice is a distinctly feline nose. Thin, delicate lips open to reveal white daggers, while on either side rest whiskers of pale blue, a tribute to her place within the water. An inky tail stretches out, nearly as long as she is tall, featuring a small puff of blue of the same hue as her whiskers. Three dominant scars slice across her neck, fur missing in slivers, the marks obviously the result of the bite of a blade. The symbol of Lady Terentia, white scales formed by two interlocking swords, is branded into her skin on her right shoulder, somehow shimmering with its own light. She stands strong, with a sort of agile grace.

Oh geez, participating in a new forum always scares me to death. But I'm never, ever happy with any of the descriptions I write, so ...

Here is what I have -



What bugs me most is punctuation. I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to fashion a sentence that does not run on. Should I have punctuated it this way instead? -



(And I hate "ghostly pale". It's too gothy.)

The one thing I am certain about at this point is that I do like the fact that it's relatively short as far as descriptions go.

He is a feathered trill and is distinctly albino: the limp, shaggy quills upon his head droop sallow white, his pink eyes flaxen-lashed. Every visible inch of him, from his large, conspicuously arched nose to the scuffed, grubby skin on his toes, is ashen. Never the quintessence of trill-ish poise, this specimen's long, rangy build causes him to stoop when he stands.

Just a couple of words edited.

She is an ordinary human and is obscenely fat in every way, looking more like a mountain made up of fleshy jelly globs than a person. Atop her head, incredibly thick and lustrous chestnut hair has been meticulously arranged into a rather large and high bun, secured with a plethora of fancy pins. Twinkling brown eyes can just barely be seen peering out from above bloated rosy cheeks. Bright red lips with a single hair poking from the bottom one are puckered above her sagging double chin. The clothing she is wearing seems about ready to burst at the seams and unfortunately does everything it can to highlight her unmistakable obesity. When she speaks, she does so with a wheeze and her footfalls can be heard from a good distance away when she plods around.

That's what I have for my description so far, but it seems... I don't know... lacking. And I feel that some things could be phrased differently.

Try fleshy gelatinous instead of fleshy 'jelly'. Maybe you can hint at the skin color in that sentence as well. Like... looking more like a pinkish (well... color is up to you!) mountain made up of fleshy gelatinous globs than a person.

My shiny (titter) new lucidian description:

He is a crystalline prismatic lucidian and his chilly, vitreous features reflect sobriety and calm.
Most of his body gleams a subtle, muted beryl tempered with angular, highly symmetric veins of a
more clear crystal in places. Eyes of a perceptive, piercing blue stone gleam with calculating
intelligence. An array of spikes ascends from the crown of his head, each refracting the ambient
light into prismatic shards. The aesthetics of his build derive largely from smooth planes and sharp
angles; what few curved surfaces exist, such as his limbs, are understated.

Question: Is it considered okay for demigods to have somewhat more "godly" descriptions, or should they still basically be a normal description fitting with one's underlying race?

They have custom entrances, teleports, and in-room poses, so I don't see why they shouldn't look generally more godly. Keep in mind your description says 'He is a demigod ' so you probably should retain racial features.

Understatement is better, as far as I'm concerned, but there's certainly room to work with.

Man, screw that. Daraius is gonna be effing furry Dr. Manhattan.

Hopefully with more clothes on.

Hah, only in a city would one dwell on such trivial matters as clothing!

/forumrp

Remember that next time you're in battle against another warrior and they swing up on you.

Also, the Matrix is cold like Ileein's soul. Clothes might be good if you don't want to lose things.

I really want this to be accurate. I just reincarnated Zayden from loboshigaru to illithoid and then realized I had no idea what an illithoid looked like!

So, I used this for reference: http://forums.lusternia.com/lofiversion/in...php/t12924.html
As well as the HELP ILLITHOID, HELP NOCHT in-game files, and the picture Feyrll did of Krackenor.

Combined a few details from his original loboshigaru: He is a ferocious loboshigaru and has a nervous fidget constantly. Standing at 4'11", he is short for his race but still has a strong look about him. Despite his youthfulness, his dark tree bark coloured eyes are hard, almost cold but not quite as you see compassion within them too. His forehead has already begin to gain a few small wrinkles, as has the area around his eyes when he smiles. A doglike nose rests just above humanoid, pinkish lips that open to reveal large, canine teeth that look capable of breaking bones. A whitish scar streaks across his snout, clean and thin, and a small tattoo of two interlocked, crisscrossing swords has been applied in black ink to the corner of his left eye. His ears come up into points with the same shape as a wolf's, the fur on the inside a honey coloured streaked with dark brown, while the outer ear is a mix of brown and black. The short, straight fur along his body has a base colour of dark brown, but along his head and torso there are streaks of black, and across his face it is patterned in symmetrical streaks of caramel. His hands are shaped the same as humans, with the exception of nails being replaced with claws, with larger claws on his furry, doggish feet. Stretching down along his arms and legs are natural white highlights and black lowlights, finishing on his hands and feet with night-sky black. His tail is brown and tipped in black, similarly to the tail of a fox's. Overall, it can be said that Zayden is more dog than human in appearance, but one cannot only be judged by their looks.

And came up with this:
He is a sinuous illithoid and and has a nervous fidget when forced to be still, despite his air of confidence and his appearance of a seasoned warrior. Standing at 3'11", he is on the short side for his race, though his slender figure gives him an advantage over others. Despite his youthfulness, his dark tree bark coloured eyes are hard, almost cold but not quite as you see a glimmer of compassion within them. His forehead has already begun to gain a few small wrinkles, as has the area around his eyes when he smiles, giving him a softer look, despite his razor teeth and harsher features. A perfect, slender, small bump denotes his nose, marred by a scar that slashes across his face from left cheek to right under his eye. His leathery skin is a pecular shade of pale grey, golden veins zigzaging across it and his muscles rippling beneath his skin. In the corner of his right eye a small tattoo has been applied in the form of a seven-pointed star on an orb of midnight.

Keep in mind that I wrote this description at literally 4am. (It was 4:30am when I was done! ) However, if someone could absolutely tear apart/critique this, I would be so thankful!

He is a sinuous illithoid and is covered in leathery skin a sickly shade of grey, the yellow veins just below the surface of his skin creating ridges across his features. He has an air of confidence despite his especially short stature, though he is lean with sinewy muscles. His bistre hued eyes are hard, slanted slightly and given to a severe coldness, although there are wrinkles on his forehead, surrounding his mouth, and crows feet around his eyes. When he smiles the small bumps that form his nose and the ghastly scar that mars across his face twists, made more horrifying by the rows of razor sharp teeth that have opened various wounds around his mouth over time.

edit: this is just my take. I didn't include any fidgeting bits or the bit about a glimmer of compassion that occasionally flares up, because when you first come across someone you won't know their personality - they'll have to convey that in emotes and roleplay. And if his mouth is full of razor sharp teeth I'm gonna assume that they aren't perfectly aligned but rather pretty gnarly and twisted so it would make sense that he'd probably be biting his own lips and tearing the inside of his cheeks a new one daily. I wasn't entirely sure about the nose and bumps (honestly when I think illithoid noses I think lord valdemort's nose - just a single smooth bump where his nose should be). But I got a cool image of this guy smiling, trying to be nice, and this horrible leathery skin just twisted with this awful scar that slashes across his face making it even worse! A pretty fun concept.

edit2: I also removed the bit about his tattoo because... well, he can just favour that particular tattoo in-game if he wants, or he can add it back in, whatever works!

Also kept it short and sweet. Short and sweet descs are more likely to get read and be understood clearly. Reading a desc that is 10 sentences long ensures that very few people read it and even fewer people get a good picture.