I found this and thought it was kind of cute. It earned some giggles. Some of them are obscene so, at your descretion.

Ooh, feel free to add your own if you think of any!


Weird. The title of the topic is all strange. :S


30 Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You're Going To Fail It Anyways!


1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out ":censor: this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

I've done #30 before. In Chemistry. IT WORKED.

xD

I've tried. Oh boy, have I tried.

I've actually seen someone do the "what the *badword* is this?" Throw his test on the ground and walk out.

Was pretty funny.

I'd definately would have loved to see that.

We pulled some of this in our AP Econ exam in high school. It was a small class, and we knew the person running it (wasn't our regular teacher). The class was basically taught as a crash course, cramming as much into you as possible for the test. So there were things on the test none of us had ever seen before. People laughed, asked the teacher for the answer, commented on the things we had never seen before, it was great. I think I've only been in one class where a student cursed the teacher out.

Who hasn't tried #30.

Who's had it work? Sadly, despite my repeated attempts, I've never had #24 work out. Although in A & P they did take a sample, I wasn't able to turn it in for any credit. They just took it. Like it was theirs.

Once, in eighth grade, our english teacher called us all pu**ies, so we went around school saying it and blaming it on him.

Rofl.


Also, your sig makes me laugh and gets the song in my head.

I once had a teacher yell at a couple of particularly nitpicky students to "stop arguing about the f ing points!" This teacher also told us a story about a time when she got drunk off liquor samples in a monastery and a time when a student on one of her field trips had to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Okay.. this has to be the most hilarious thing I've read in a couple months! TYVM!

During my AP European history exam, the "primary documents" topic that year (this was in 2000) had to do with a war in Greece during the 20th century. We hadn't actually covered that during class, nor was it assigned as reading.

Everyone in the room burst into a combination of laughter and "What the is this ?"

Done 8, 9, 12, 15 (not the mommy thing though, I went to vomit), 16, 24, 26

It's surprising how I am nearly done with school, huh

*coughididntneedtoknowthatcough*

I remember talking through an entire quiz once. It was for Advertising. They were all essay answers, but I kept telling people the answers were either C or Winnebago. My friend and I were giggling and laughing the entire time. The teacher never told us to be quiet. Those were the days. I miss going to a community college, it was the best.

I love teachers that leave the room and tell you not to cheat.

Oh I've done #30 to death. I've done it well. You just have to play it right. Tears help.

Forgot to add...If you learn to lie really well you can get away with just about anything...not that I'd ever do that.

This had me in tears of laughter. Re: Everiine, if you were in my AP class, I apologise. Nobody should have listened to me curse that idiot out. However, given our teacher was expelled for attacking a student and this guy didn't know what he was talking about (every answer, including multiple choice, could be answered with an L and an X - forming a supply/demand graph), I found it an appropriate reaction.

But seriously, some of these were great. They really were.

If you were my students, I'd have electrical shock pads installed in your chairs and automatic locking seat belts that would hold you once you sat down; maybe have seventeen levels of electrical shock. Try that stuff with me?

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm afraid not."

:pushes the big red button that says KFC FRIED:

"Anyone else? No? Good. I look forward to seeing everyone's final exam then."

But to be honest, as a practical joke to my undergrad professor, we put a dead fish in his brief case when he left the room to use the bathroom. Even the TA was in on it. Before he could get back, we also put oil all over the door handles of the classroom door. I've never seen an Irish man turn that color of red until that day.

I never did hear what ever happened with that dead fish.

Heh. Good thing about being tenured. We can yell back as much, if not more, obscenities and oftentimes do.