Great Greasy Grey Gnome Gunitlipper!

SQUEEZE it to make it expel some sort of random smell throughout the area. Fresh baked bread, pond scum, south end of a north bound scrumhog, cookies, the choices are endless!


I also think a funny variation of the gnome vials would be great, a bottle you can POINT at someone and it either makes them gain a line of decription like "Estarra is a ... blah blah blah. She is covered in a layer of green paint."

or..?

Gnomish clown shoes - reduces the chance of being moved around by waves or bounced around on earth.
Alternately, some kind of gravety belt or inertial dampener would work too since there are other artifact shoes already

Belt of cow warding. Cows (and sheep) will be repulsed by you, so that when they walk in the endless y circles they will stop and not bump into you - 100 cr.

We already had that as an artifact auction item, though. (But it was unfortunately boots.)

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Special Lever of Substitutiary Locomotion: Point the lever at an article of clothing to make it dance.

Dingbat Artifacts:

Gnomish Drum Machine (50db): CRANK DRUM to make it play a randomly selected rhythm. Options include a stately waltz, a merry jig, a driving pounding, a light airy rhythm, a tribal tattoo, a passionate tango, a slow and gentle ballad, a raucous and discordant rumble, etc. You can also BEATON DRUM to play a simple rhythm.

Horsehair Bow or Crystal Pick (50db): If you're holding one of these, selected emotes when targetted at an instrument you're holding will also produce an emote (without using balance) describing some music you're playing on that instrument. For instance, STROKE MANDOLIN would play a sweet romantic melody, BEATON MANDOLIN would play a rollicking dance, KNUCKLES MANDOLIN would make you play a pounding, grinding song, PROD MANDOLIN would play something somber in a minor key, FROLIC MANDOLIN would play something upbeat in a major key, CARESS MANDOLIN would play something soothing and relaxing, TENSE MANDOLIN would play discordant wails and shrieks, etc. You could also USE MANDOLIN to randomly select one of these.

dingbat item - a fail stamp or brand, once a month you can brand somone as a failure or stamp the word fail on their forehead, it makes them emote unflattering things and shows up in their description until it wears off after a few minutes or a cleanse enchant is used.

Too ooc for me.

Better idea. Same thing, but it brands their forum account for the duration, instead of the character.

Wutyoo gotta be all mean fer?

Bubble of language memory - Allows a bookbinder to switch a language they have learnt for another language - 25 cr

Bit of an explanation for this one, the admins seem to have made it clear in their own way that only bookbinders will be allowed to learn languages, that's fine, if we gave it away as an artifact then people could get the rp bonus of it but none of the drawbacks, however if someone reincarnates or finds that no one SPEAKS the bloody language they're either stuck with it or they have to forget and relearn bookbinding at a serious lesson loss.

Well, they gave it to Illithoid as well. Maybe if we keep pressing they'll let us buy languages! Maybe? No?

Speaking of drums:

Rolling Barrel: TOSS BARREL . Prones everyone in 3-5 rooms in the direction the barrel is thrown. Disappears after use, resets in an hour.

But you have to be a monkey taedae to use it?

And pudgy little furrikin in red and blue plumber outfits are able to use the JUMP emote to escape the attack.

They also must be a bonecrusher wielding a hammer.

Wrong kind of drums!

We already have that, It's called a Cameo! You actually do forget a language when you changeling.

It would sure be nice if a changeling could remember the language he spoke fluently yesterday, though.