Granted, you know what you want to wish for, but you can't put it into words.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

Granted, you're now a middle-aged amish farmer.

I wish it wasn't so hot out during the day!

Granted, peak temperature is now 3K.

I wish I didn't have to sleep next to snoring dogs tonight >.<

Granted, but now you have 10 inches of snow.

I wish I didn't have exams this week.

I would love snow! As thanks, I'll corrupt your wish right back.

Granted, but you'll have exams every other day for the rest of the year!

And I wish I had 10 inches of snow.

Granted. Your dogs sleep outside tonight, and every night to come. In time, these once beloved pets become mere mongrels who rely on you only for opening cans, all cuteness and affection waning. You lose authority as the alpha creature in their lives. They become disobedient, defecating on your cherished possessions and mangling your couch, and bedding. Should they outlive you, they will survive for weeks after your death, feasting on your lifeless carcass.


Granted! Your full time employment prospects for the next thirty years involve menial tasks and small questions. Paper or plastic? Do you want fries with that?

I wish food put in the oven would be ready instantaneously.

we just got about a inch or two today. back during that snow blizzard week we got about 16 inches total. here in MI we get a good amount of snow over the course of winter (about nov to late April/early May)

Granted, but because your oven cooks things so fast, it all tastes like carbon.

Whaaaat. Wishlest post, so I shall get it started again!

I wish that I could find interest in reading anything, rather than only select things.

You find yourself irresistibly drawn to all manner of books; bodice rippers leap off the shelves at you, history deluges you, books of art enthrall you...

You are found dead beneath a massive pile of books nearly rivaling that of the Library of Congress, after rescue workers spend nearly a year trying to navigate through the maze to reach you. It turns out that books are not very good at fetching sustenance.

I wish this week was over already!

The week is over, but your boss fires you because you didn't come to work 7 days in a row without a reason!

I wish all my experiments at lab never failed!

Your lab experiments are perfect, in fact they're so perfect, that you are unable to mess them up no matter what, so you are unable to properly explain how you did it, so your professor accuses you of cheating and automatically fails you.

I wish I knew how to code better.

Granted. You manage to code a program for nano-paste. Unfortunately, you still forgot to include a stop limit for the nanobots.

I wish the voice wouldn't lie when they say that they love music.

EDIT: Ninja'd by Kira!

Revenge is mine!

You learn to code so well that Estarra has to ban from playing because you discovered how to take advantage of every single coding flaw in the game!

I wish...I had a bowl of beef bourguignon in front of me!

There you go... but the food is icy cold and there is no spoon!

I want to... live in the world of pokemon!

Granted, but you forgot to get a starter, so it's impossible for you to catch any.

I wish that I could make an insulated cup of fresh, warm coffee, with one scoop of sugar and medium amounts of cream appear in my hand whenever I wanted.

Granted, but it literally appears in your hand, and your hand has to be amputated due to it suddenly containing an insulated cup of fresh warm coffee with one scoop of sugar and medium amounts of cream. The pain is unbearable.

I wish I could draw better.

Granted, but you still don't believe yourself to be a good artist, even though you totally already are.

I wish that I could code better.

Granted, but you can only code in Brainf*** (http://bit.ly/bWsIZJ)

I wish people stopped jumping me in the UV

Granted. They now gank you.

I wish I had a nickle.