Granted, but no one believes in you anymore, and you're forced into a lonely life without love.

I wish that I could go home.

Granted, welcome to jail, your new home for the next oh I'm sorry, for the rest of your life without parole!

Now I wish I'm Kayte.

Granted, welcome to jail.

I wish I had a fabulous pink pony.

Granted, but it's been dead for two weeks and is starting to seriously stink.

I wish it was Tuesday!

Granted, but your phone and all sources of communication are dead. You are left without any outside contact for the next week.


I wish I was Eventru.

Granted, but now your entrances blind you, and no amount of myrtle can cure it.

I wish I understood how to do Tarot cards properly.

Granted, but now you can't find a deck anywhere.

I wish that I had some more direction in life.

Granted, you now have so many directions that you can't decide and thus are stuck in one spot trying to decide which way to go.

I wish I didn't have to deal with annoying people.

Granted, have a compass.

I wish I had an anti-corruption filter for wishes where the more you try to corrupt the wish, the more awesome it becomes. INCLUDING this wish.

Granted. Too bad you lost it a few days ago.

I wish I had nice, feathery wings.

Granted, but you find a box of dead puppies under your sheets with you, when you wake up tomorrow.

I wish I didn't need to drive thirty miles to get to the grocer - I want to make brownies!

Granted, but the next time you get into a car, you are the person who ran over the puppies. Unsure what to do with their corpses, you quickly stash them in Casilu's bed, tiptoeing away hoping that no one caught you. You feel so guilty that you have no appetite for the next few days, and your brownies go stale.

I wish I didn't have a twelve page paper looming over my head.

Granted, but it's grown to 120 pages.

I wish I was Terentia. (I can haz those awesome weapons plz?)

Granted. Too bad you're a mage.

I wish I knew what Terentia's wedding present for me is.

Granted, but you're zapped back down to level 1.

I wish I could be tanky.

Granted but now you're so tanky you can't move at all.

I wish I owned a real bag of infinite holding that I could open.

granted, you are a mountain and have no spirit allowing you to tank almost anything except world destroying stuff AND any form of emotional attack.

I wish Crumkindivia was real.


edit: BAH

@Seraku: granted, unfortunately you are unable to ever retrieve anything from it.

Granted, congrats, you know own a boardgame of the aetherbubble.

I wish my car would defreeze itself so I don't have to go out and do it myself and risk breaking my windows/door from the ice that is covering my car.

granted, but now your car battery is dead.

I wish I could stay fit without doing physical excercise (especially without running)

Granted, but you can never again do anything physical, including movement.

I wish for nothing.