To Whom It May Concern,

I, Eiselle, wish to unequivocally state that I have not engaged in, nor have I been involved in, the theft of baby squirrels. Despite the actions of my father and various individuals from my city, I maintain my innocence and request that my name be removed from this narrative.

I as a furrikin take the welfare of animals seriously and have always treated them with respect and care. It is my firm belief that baby squirrels, as well as all creatures, deserve to live free from harm and interference.

Please note that if it appears that I possess any squirrel fur, extra nuts, or anything else that may seem squirrely, I assure you that it is merely a coincidence. Additionally, if you notice any claw marks, nips, or bites on me, please be aware that these are also coincidental and unrelated to any involvement with baby squirrels.

I have no intention, nor have I ever had the intention, of stealing adorable, cute, huggable, lovable baby squirrels. Even if they have the cutest, softest fluffiest tails.

As such, I request that any allegations or insinuations connecting me to this matter be retracted, as they are entirely baseless and false. My character and actions should not be judged based on the actions of others, and I kindly ask for the opportunity to clear my name and reputation.

Thank you for your understanding and consideration.

Sincerely,

Eiselle

Penned by my hand on the 5th of Estar, in the year 645 CE.