Granted but now she never shuts up.

I wish that people weren't such annoying pricks.

Granted. Everyone you interact with is incredibly nice, all the time. It seems effortless. You resent their peace of mind. You start to wonder, "Wait, am I the prick now?" You can no longer relate to your peers. Unable to gain the self esteem from the sense of moral superiority which follows acting rightly where you have witnessed others acting poorly, you spiral into depression. At a Sunday brunch with friends you lash out at a busboy, who accepts your bad behavior with a quiet grace you find infuriating. You rise and strike the man, and still he turns the other cheek. Your friends pity you, offering consoling smiles and gentle pats. Obviously you're having a bad day. They'll give you the space you need. You will ignore their phone calls when they start to worry after a week. Eventually, they will stop calling, assenting to your wishes to end all acquaintance.

I wish I were on vacation!

Granted, you're now in Libya.

I wish all the little things I have to buy (Printer ink, phone credit, washing, etc) didn't suddenly hit me the moment I have very little monies

Granted.

]

Where was the corruption there? Psh.

It sounded too sad for corruption. I have a big heart.

Granted. Instead a large quantity of big purchases suddenly hit you when you have very little monies.

I wish I had a heart.

Granted, but now you have emotions.

I wish I didn't think all the ideas I have were bad/could actually go with them and have them become something.

Granted, but it turns out your ideas were actually bad, and you just wasted all of your time and effort.

I wish that Lusternia had a warrior class that used magic offensively instead of just for buffing themselves up and the occasional cooldown.

Granted, however it is made extremely overpowered, I'm the only member and no one else can join. So I grief you and Gaudiguch constantly.

I wish I'd turned up to maths today, apparantly we actually did some real maths

Granted, but then you were so tired that you fell asleep and missed it all. AND got kicked out of the course.

I wish a real-life god would reveal him-/her-/itself to people and cause a phenomenon. Just for kicks.

Granted, but the god is Cthulu. May we all be eaten quickly.


I wish I had more normal hobbies.

Granted, but you'd drown in a boating accident during a weekend-long fishing trip.

I wish I had more abnormal hobbies.

Granted, but you get decapitated by a monkey with a halberd.


I wish I had cake

Granted, here is your Aperature Science Handheld Portal Device. Go and get it.


I wish I had the power to turn things into donuts.

Granted, but it works perfectly, making you become very very overweight.

How was that a corruption?

I wish Kial would make a damn wish.

He does, but he wishes that you never wished that he made a wish, which creates a temporal and logical paradox that sucks both of you out of the time-space continuum.

I wish I didn't have to take a business elective.

Granted, but you use the time you would be spending doing that eating Casilus delicious stuff-donuts and get fat.

I wish people wouldn't be talking outside my room at 5am.