Greetings and salutations, most esteemed citizens of the city-state of
Gaudiguch

This post is to inform you that the Board of Directors hereby
acknowledges your most benevolent offer of a cultural event to celebrate
the future peace between our two great nations and thus extends its
gratitude for the concern displayed. In order to assure the city-state
of Gaudiguch that the Sovereign Commonwealth of Hallifax considers your
offer in the highest regard, the Board of Directors has included the
Collective as a whole in your offer, rather than a single individual, to
symbolise and strengthen the concept of binding between nations rather
than individuals. In order to send forth our best contestant, the
artists and researchers of our esteemed Collective have analysed the
event proposed and based our selection criteria on the results of the
said analysis.

In this analysis, the purpose of your event was deemed to be the
assessment of the reproductive and nurturing organs of an individual
through the ritual medium of wearing a moisturised piece of clothing on
the torso - the goal of the event and the aspired standards therefore
include a most unobstructed view, excluding the moisturised piece of
clothing. Therefore, individuals aspiring to triumph in this cultural
event should not wear any pieces of clothing under this moisturised
piece of clothing to ensure the best possible view. As such, the view
may further be improved by assuring that the individual in question has
no long hair that may cascade down to obscure the view, or excess skin
or excess flesh to divert the attention from that which is of import.

At this point, our most esteemed Patron, Lord Elostian, the Enigma, has
declared Himself to be the best possible contestant for this cultural
event. The Board of Directors was forced to conclude that no member of
the Collective or even the Basin as a whole could offer a more
unobstructed view than the Lord Enigma, who does not possess any hair,
flesh or skin. Therefore, the Board of Directors is certain of the
Collective's victory in the cultural event in question.

Furthermore, the Board of Directors is aware of the difficult position
in which it now finds itself, as to enter the cultural event with a
contestant who no other contestant may not hold a proper chance against
might be considered a most undiplomatic gesture considering the
diplomatic purpose of this event between our two great nations. The
Board of Directors has therefore decided to enter into the spirit of
what could be called sportmanship and provide the esteemed citizenry of
Gaudiguch a chance to triumph by choosing to abstain from participation.
We are assured that the esteemed citizens of the city-state of Gaudiguch
consider the benevolence and diplomacy of this decision.

Having reached this most agreeable conclusion to the communications
between our two great nations, the Board of Directors expresses its most
sincere gratitude to the citizenry of Gaudiguch. We are certain that
there are no further objections to the signing of the peace agreement so
generously offered by the city-state of Gaudiguch and voice our
confidence that this legislation shall soon be made official. As a
representative of the Board of Directors and the Sovereign Commonwealth
of Hallifax, I rejoice at this triumph of diplomacy and look forward to
many years of non-aggression and peace between the esteemed city-state
of Gaudiguch and the Sovereign Commonwealth of Hallifax.

In service,
Saaga Shavatt
Senator on the Board of Directors of the Sovereign Commonwealth of
Hallifax
Archmage of the Centre of Aeromantic Engineering
The Dean of Twilight in the Order of Lord Elostian, the Enigma

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Juliary, in the year 255 CE.